Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Be gentle with yourself @creative_writer - some things take a bit longer.

I just know how similar my experiences to yours have been. And through a slow process, I've been big changes.

I'm no one special. Hence, if there's hope for me, there's hope for you. Hold on to that hope. It can be painful sometimes, but look to that hope.

[creative_writer]

@tymewho said you weren’t anyone special? You are 🙂 .

I feel like many people with a history of trauma struggle with relationships, it’s just a fact. I’ve been advised that I really need to work on healing trauma to improve relationships. Complex ptsd is really hard. Hopefully healing that trauma would mean my brain can regulate mood and circadian rhythms better and maybe I won’t need as much medication. 

[tyme]

Awww.... you're so sweet.

In terms of PTSD, our coping mechanisms developed after trauma is really a trauma response @creative_writer .  It is our way of surviving in a harsh world.

I'm not sure if healing is about 'healing the trauma', or do you mean, giving yourself permission to go on? I'm not sure whether you mean 'tackling' the trauma - which may not be the best idea if it is going to re-traumatise a person. It takes a very skilled therapist to know how to open up trauma without re-traumatizing them. Then again, if there is sucha huge chance of re-traumatisation, is it worth it?

I don't believe my healing came from talking about and tackling my trauma. The focus was on how to live in the present (not live in the past - trauma).

Arghhh. Getting late. I don't even know what I've BLAHED on about lol

Forgive me.

Hugs. 

I'm going to wrap up now. Otherwise I run the risk of completely confusing you! I will see you around later in the week.

[creative_writer]

@tyme healing to me looks like being able to get on with the day without being paralysed with pain. I think talking can only get you so far. Maybe some degree of talking needs to happen, but it’s not everything. Im generally really private so prefer not to divulge into lots of details, it can be too much if you don’t feel safe with the person too. Talking doesn’t always equate to processing either. Processing can happen in multiple ways too.

[creative_writer]

@tyme goodnight ❤️

[Oggmo]

yay!

[Oggmo]

People tell me I'm too sensitive, and i tell them I agree: most people are not sensitive enough.

Some say I overthink: I say yes, many don't think enough.

[creative_writer]

@Oggmo I feel like people are often shamed for being "too sensitive". It's like there is something wrong with someone if they are. That belief is totally far from the truth.

I wish I could see my worth as a person. I wish I could see that I was worthy of living. I feel so alone and isolated that I feel like a small insignificant tinny speck. If one tinny speck left, what difference would it make? There are already so many specks around who are more worthy than I am. There are specks that make a difference to the world, I feel like existence does absolutely nothing. I may be safe for now but don't know for how much longer because I feel like I am at my rope, I'm sorry for failing.

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @creative_writer,

I'm sorry to read how you are feeling. I have been called "too sensitive" many times but I actually think being sensitive is an asset. I am happy that I am sensitive - I think the world needs more sensitive people. I think being sensitive is one of the core ingredients in many great traits such as empathy, kindness, caring, insightfulness, etc.

I am worried about how you are feeling and have sent you an email to check in with you. Would you please respond to it when you can.

Kind regards,

FloatingFeather 

[creative_writer]

@FloatingFeather being sensitive does have great traits. I've responded to your email, right now I am sitting on the fence, I am angry, hurt, sad and anxious. I just want to feel important and worthy but I am a million miles away from everyone right now. Would anyone care if I disappeared? Would I be forgotten as quickly as I go? Maybe I should reach out to a helpline again, but I feel like I am just going around in circles right now till I am blue in the face.