Lived Experience Forum

[Kriss]

I didn't know where to put this not gonna lie.

Okay so, I'm one of those people who prefer depending on themselves because well, it's been like that since childhood and i'm a believer about the person who can really help us the most is ourselves.

But I also know that it can come with issues because then I end up taking too much on myself. And well, we're human and we all need aid and support. Which I hate but hey- it's just how we are and that's okay. Uncomfortable but it's a work in progress for me.

I've been reaching out a little more, and actually asking for some help at times despite how uncomfortable it is. Such as asking a friend for a lift to a clinic since I can't and all that stuff. I always feel so bad about it and i'm always super grateful.

But sometimes I wonder if i'm being too selfish? Which i know comes from the messages i got from my childhood but it's really hard to tell because well, I don't want to use or take advantage of anyone. How do you guys deal with that? Do i just have to- somehow keep reminding myself? But what if i start asking too much or something???

This came up in my head again since a friend offered to help pay for some of my medical fees which is- a lot. I thought i might cry when i heard it. I said not to worry about it but there's so much taking a toll on me but I could probably push myself a little more and manage it or something but- I just don't know what to do.

I don't know what the right thing to do is. I don't know what I should do. I don't want to just take but I also know logically i really need some help but, yeah. How do I know when i'm asking too much? I know they're the ones offering but i can't help but feel guilty and- man this is confusing me.

[Acanthiza]

Hey @Kriss I am also way too self reliant. I never wanted to burden anyone else with my problems and outwardly would be a rock for others. It got to a point where it was really dangerous for me. I relate so much to feeling guilty when people are helping me, even when they are the ones that offered. Let me think a bit (I write even though I have all the time to think before posting)

I'm certainly not over feeling like that, not by a long shot. But I am a lot better. For me it took very small steps, it is kind of like building a muscle or something. I would have to consciously catch myself and say "It is OK for me to be receiving this"
Well I still am not very good at it.

It is confusing and hard to navigate, I guess I would say take people at their word. If they are offering things and it is someone you know well it is like a sign of respect to think they are legitimate and have really thought things through.

OK like usual I don't know if that is relatable or even makes any sense. I hope you navigate these confusing things and find a way to get the help you need. It certainly isn't easy stuff!