Lived Experience Forum

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Appleblossom

Oh. Curses, i forgot to write, i have no idea whats happening to my transfer. Public housing gave me a wonderful unit to live in but that stalker has been coming over early every morning and coughing coughing outside my back window. I havent heard because iv been asleep but my neighbour tells me. 

back to normal writing. Does your son work? What would your list of advice be for mothers who's son has decided to move home. If you decide to write this, could you  Please number each comment. Im very interested. 

My oldest son spends at least one long episode per year suffering psychosis. There is new work coming out about communicating in mental health which is very exciting. So, i paRticularly like:

dealing with your problems like in a list and replacing activities with what you want to change so when son told me he doesnt want to take medication i said he needs to be proactive and replace the activity of staying in bed all day chainsmoking and so he works.... think hes at uni.

My youngest son is just good value but he decided to live with me mum to get help with his studies (shes an acedemic) zo hes needing to spend time alone ...hes moved out, shs spent a long time slagging me off ......he needs to get his own mind togsther not influenced by her. 

Thank goodness my Psychotherpist loves me.  

[Appleblossom]

1) Re MI .. I believe it has always been about communication or overcoming impediments to .. lack of understanding.

2) Re older son: Its great he is doing some stuff .. you are right .. Focus on interests and activities .. he has to "drive" it but you can help as mum and facilitate and encourage. You dont have to be totally hands off. You are his only mum.

(My ex had episodes from the age of 20 to 40 but has a good quality of life now at 65.)  Things can change. I can understand why he doesnt like meds .. its finding the inner resources to accept when we need the help of a pill and when its not helping.

chainsmoking in bed will not help ..

my son's version is being hooked up to computer in bed hmmm. Not so bad for the lungs but not great for the posture. I dont argue about it .. try and empathise or joke.  Sometimes we all need a day in bed ..

3) Re younger son: Its good he is studying but there is also life after uni .. I am a case in point. I had similar situation as my daughter went to live with my mother.  I think we could talk more about the mother factor.

4) Lists are great. I make them all the time

I am not a 'give advice' type of person. I go with making others experience something which helps motivate them to change for the good. So this is a hard post

[Jacques]

Hi @Appleblossom, 

Thank you so much for you kind and caring words. i often worry i am upsetting people, it is my anxiety that makes me think this way. 

I agree, people often say to me how distressed they become because of my constant sadness. but i have not known anything else, so i don't find it distressing myself. i am glad you have sorted the problem, it is difficult not having physical ques to go on when speaking. but we manage as best we can and i know in my heart all posts are well intentioned.

@PeppiPatty, i have no intention of ever leaving the forums. i will be here forever. 🙂

please give Mr. Arlo a big hug for me. he is so cute.

hope all is going well with your families @Appleblossom & @PeppiPatty, families can be hard work and give us happy times. but through thick and thin they are family. 

hugs my friends. you wil lalways be in my heart and thoughts.

Jacques

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Jacques

Lovely to see you

I have been wondering how you are  .. if your aunt is still living with you ...if you have arranged some places where you can hang out wothout being disturbed all the time .. if you still have a special friend??

I am listening to the birds outside ... more have arrived with the gardens  .. it was very barren when I moved in .. just builder's clay .. I so loved your rural photos of your home .. they filled in a gap for me .. 

My own feelings have been a bit tumultuous in the last few months .. and erupting out of me .. but all in all my son is going steadily and ok .. but he forgot to put in his newstart form .. sigh ..

[Jacques]

Hi my virtual mum 🙂 @Appleblossom

It is so nice to speak with you too, i have missed you.

No my aunt has her own appartment now, we still have an up and down relationship, and she is making living in the town i do very difficult, but i am managing everything as best i can.

no i still have no room of my own, i still live in the loungeroom, i don't think that will ever change, it is how mum likes it.

yes, i still have my girlfriend, we are madly in love, things are going so well, we support each other when we are having low days and making sure we communicate how we are going clearly with each other. it is so nice having someone to care for and know someone cares for me.

I will post some more photos of the farm next door if you like, their are no cattle anymore, but their is sheep and chickens. they bring me much joy when i am feeling low.

I am sorry about your mood being unstable, yes, i have been struggling badly too, i don't know from hour to hour what mood i will have.

oh i am so glad your son has got some payment, i was worried how you would cope living on the one payment, mum and i did it for 7 years and it nearly broke us.

lots of hugs @Appleblossom, you have a special place in my heart.

Jacques