Lived Experience Forum

[IamNotMyMind]

All day long I'm working hard.

Cop shit, grind, grind some more. Work some evenings. Then I come home, grind, cop it some more, 8pm and kids are in bed and my wife is pissed off and on the couch.

I travel a bit, so I'm gone some days all day.

The last couple of weeks I'm copping it for not contributing enough to Christmas, because my wife (who works 2 days a week) has organised most of it. Which is true. I have not contributed much, because I have not had time and I am typically ignored when I do have opinions (which I try not to).

I'm sorry if I'm not up for an hour long conversation at 8pm each night after I'm soaked in anxiety from a full day and I've been pushing hard since 7am. I get that it's not enough, but I can't seem to output more. I am trying. I just need to find a way to get more done and contribute better. I don't really see how everyone else does it. Maybe they don't?

[Appleblossom]

My understanding is that it is enough. @IamNotMyMind

Other people have different troubles and different starting points.

Our dreams for our kids need to be tempered by the reality of what we can honestly give.

It is not wise to keep pushing til breaking point.

I would have prefered my dad not to die when I was 11.  Find a way to live that you can realistically sustain.  

It is a jungle "out there" in terms of competition. Some people saw christmas as a way of finding a friendly tribe.  

[frog]

Hi @IamNotMyMind What you're dealing with sounds exhausting. Just wanted to say I read your post. What people show/tell you about work life balance is not always accurate. I doubt everyone else does it. There's unrealistic pressure to appear like you do. I am a lone parent (not by choice) of two. One is relatively independent now, the other is no where near. It sounds like your kids are little. In the past less was expected of parents and it's a heavy weight for someone working such long hours. All I can suggest is to express gratitude to your wife, hard as it when she's pissed off. If there's a way to get some time for yourself, however small, take it. You need it and deserve it. Just having a cup of tea, or walking my dog gives me a little headspace.

PS there's a thread called 'The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff'' that might be worth a look - search bar will bring it up.

Take care.