Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

Why is he angry with you Hon - because you told him how you are really doing - that seems very unfair, He can't have it both ways - he wants to know how you are doing but doesn't seem able to accept the reality. Is that because he is scared of where you are presently or doesn't think you are as bad as you are @Snowie? Either way it seems that he is not be supportive!

[Snowie]

@Zoe7he is angry b/c I don't tell him everything that happens in my appt's with the psych and pdoc. He thinks I keep too much from him. If he had his way he would know everything that goes on. He wants to know how I am doing but cannot accept that I can't tell him everything that goes on. 

It is so complicated.

[Zoe7]

It is complicated @Snowie There are some things that you just cannot tell him - both because you don't want to and also because you can't find the words - both make it hard for you. Some things we need to keep to ourselves and often that is because it hurts so much. It is great that he wants to know but I understand that he feels a little left out when you withold stuff too - but that is also you protecting yourself - Yes Hon it is very complicated and hard for someone that isn't going through what you are to understand.

[Snowie]

@Zoe7if he had his way he would know all the details to my flashbacks. Something I have not shared with anyone and probably never will. And gets frustrated with me for not telling him details. 

Thanks for understanding.

[Zoe7]

No problems at all Hon - I get how there are things that you just can't share with anyone - it hurts too much and you certainly cannot find the words to describe some things. I find that with my flashbacks as well - they feel like you are reliving a time in your life that you are doing everything you can to forget and to be feeling like you are going through that again is debilitating @Snowie - and that is definitely not something that you can verbalise ...to anyone. 

[Snowie]

And that is exactly what H cannot understand @Zoe7.

How are you going today hon? 

[Zoe7]

I think it is so hard for anyone that doesn't go through it to actually understand Hon - they can't get the pain it causes to even think about it @Snowie 

I am doing ok - have got a lot done today. I am hoping for another early night though - nights still get tricky but I don't talk about it much anymore. It just feels like the norm rather than the exception but I do think I am handling it a bit better than I was. I spend most nights in bed now rather than the couch so that is a huge win. Toby sleeps on the bed with me for part of the night but always ends up on his bed on the floor by the morning lol

Tomorrow I have the pool and need to do a little shopping - and I hope to hear something from work - if I don't I will try to call. It would be nice to hear something before my pdoc appointment on Wednesday.

[Snowie]

Hoping you hear from work soon @Zoe7. I know this waiting game must be excruciating for you. It would be good to hear from them before your pdoc appt on Wednesday.

Am glad nights are going better, but  still know how hard they can be.

Hopefully the pool ill be quiet and you can have a peaceful float without other people around. 

[Zoe7]

On Tuesday's there is a group that comes in at 1pm so I won't stay longer tomorrow - it getsn a bit crowded @Snowie With any luck I will have 5-10 minutes to float around before they get in though. I might try to go early tomorrow and do some walking - but that depends on how much of the shopping I get done in the morning.

The longer I have to wait to hear from work the hardermit is going to be to get back to more full-time work by the end of the year - there is not much time yet and each week seems to go quickly atm.

What's on the menu for dinner tonight - I better get mine soon too.

[Snowie]

It is taking longer then expected @Zoe7 for work and the weeks do seem to be going quickly. Got everything crossed that you hear back soon.

Tea is meat and vegies. Simple and something everyone will eat without whinging. I beeter go finish it off, will be back later