Lived Experience Forum

[Eh87]

Everything I've been through, the relationship breakups, men run away from me, people in general the way they talk sometimes even affects me, people's opinions, trying to get you to live or change the way they do, I tried picking myself up all
These other times but now even being in meds it's all piled up on top of me and this time the only lesson I can take from everything is that I am not good enough, no matter how hard I work or doin the right thing Im still not good enough. I don't know who to trust talking to of fear of being judged or told where I've gone wrong and how to do it better so I don't make the same mistakes. I think I am too vulnerable. Drawn to people and then they step on me like a mat. I just don't have it in me to think positive, hope or believe there will be someone out there who won't run from me.

[Alessandra1992]

Welcome @Eh87
We are a welcoming bunch of people and we are certainly not here to judge each other!
@Aonoran has written about this recently..about how some folks expect people to change, or are busy proffering advice and then, if you don't go along with it..well then you are rejected..
Do not much reciprocal friendship going on when people expect us to change and we don't.
Me, I call it being assertive..
You are good enough.
We won't run away..

We are all in this together so welcome aboard!!

[-karma-]

Hello Eh87

drink in the warmth shared here, and like chicken noodle soup you will soon be feeling like your legs aren't so wobbly anymore.

[Former-Member]

Hi, here listening, and can understand how you are feeling. I sometimes get so caught up in my crazy spinning thoughts that I lose sight of the bigger picture or its all out of focused and I feel like I just can't keep up with everyone else. Sometimes I think I talk to my psychologist just to get some distance and a real perspective of what's going on. I battle hugely with self worth and I can't say I've found it yet but this place is also a great place to get it out and find that space. I don't think you sound like you are not good enough but I respect your courage in writing that here, thankyou for posting

[peace]

Hi @Eh87 Welcome aboard. I kinda can relate to what you said about trying to jump through hoops and turn your self inside out just to fit in and please others. Done a lot of that in my time. I am still struggling with it, however being here is truly helping me take a more accepting attitude towards myself and a kinder more loving behavior. Yeah self hate is easy for me . Yet I so honestly know that what I go thru is way beyond simple mind control. It is deeper and heavier. I have done and will continue to do so all I can to help me. You are reaching out here and you will never be turned away. Blessings to you.

[Eh87]

Thanks for understanding allesandra1992. Yeah it's either being judged for not being like them or oven when u think you know what your doing they turn around and tell you that you don't need to change when that's not what they said before. People have confused me a lot.

[Alessandra1992]

I reckon the world is a confusing place at times.. I really like Dr Seuss's advice though..it keeps me very grounded..
Those that matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter..
Gives me a bit of perspective because friends love each other and bring out the best in each other and accept each other wholeheartedly.
That is not to say my friends don't challenge me at times..but it with my permission..and I ask for help..there's a big difference compared to someone telling me what I should be doing...
I am think I was reading a different post that @peace and @Crazy_Bug_Lady were writing about how sometimes, some types of diagnoses means we can react very differently to what people say to us..that we may take words very very personally..so language is very important but intent is pretty important too. Friendship is hopefully an equality of caring, sharing and loving..so when it isn't appearing that way, it is OK to have a conversation about how you feel..and if it is not OK..silence can help too..you will find plenty of friendly non j dging folks right here..see posts from @Former-Member and @peace and @ karma! Welcome aboard the forum 🙂