11-09-2019 07:50 PM
So yeah. I’m 43, and have never been in a relationship. And at no point in my life have I ever experienced and shared anything intimate or affectionate. For most of my life, it has always been made fun of, been a source of bullying. I’ve been told that nobody will ever want to touch me, unless I go and pay them to. Also been told many, many times that any thought of anything intimate or affectionate with me is foul and disgusting, and that I should be ashamed to ever think or want anyone to be with me.
I don’t have any friends, so there is nobody to go out with, nobody to talk with about any of this. Even trying to talk to therapists about it, they just either change the subject, or again, just tell me to go and pay for any type of affection, even just to hug someone or hold hands.
I’ve tried a lot of dating sites and apps, all the major ones, and at least 10 this year alone, but none of them ever work. No messages, no replies to any messages I send, no chats. Nothing. I don’t meet people, no matter where I go and try to get involved in. Groups and classes, hobbies, volunteering, work. All have come up empty. I have been online since 1995 and don’t even have any online friends, let alone found any relationships.
Just don’t know what to do anymore. It is going beyond being frustrating, and is becoming quite distressing. Yesterday after work I had a panic attack at the gym. I just don’t know what to do and where to go. Putting myself “out there” just doesn’t work when nobody notices or is interested. It actually hurts when I see a couple holding hands or hugging or kissing, because it just feels like it will never happen to me.
12-09-2019 04:18 AM
@JosRapp Hey JosRapp how are you going this morning . You are not alone my friend many people feel this way. You have friends on Sane forum. You can count on us to be there to listen or give advice whatever you feel comfortable with.
Just don't give up there is a partner waiting for you out there in a similar position as you. You just have to have faith and keep trying. peaxxx
12-09-2019 06:10 PM
Not doing so good today really. Wish I had faith that it will happen, but, when I was younger I did but I’m not sure any more. Stocks of hope are very, very low. I just don’t know what else to do and try anymore, and there isn’t really anyone to talk with, let alone go out with. The last couple of days have been not wanting to go to work, and then not wanting to come home, and lots and lots of tears because it feels like this will never end, expect for being more alone. Maybe it would be OK if I was at least meeting people somewhere, somehow. But I don’t know where to try anymore, and I am so tired of trying on my own.
12-09-2019 06:18 PM
@JosRapp Hey JosRapp well you are not alone any longer you have the Sane family here to keep you company. Work is important as it keeps you socialising even to a limited extent. What sports are you interested in?
12-09-2019 06:58 PM
@greenpea I like watching Rugby League, and listening to Soccer (although I find 8 can’t watch it), and I do Ten-Pin Bowling.
12-09-2019 07:20 PM
@JosRapp Ahhh what Rugby League team do you barrack for? I go for the Eels? My dad when he was alive used to go for the Sea Eagles. We used to love watching them play agaist each other. This was in the 1980s when their games were epic.
I like soccer too:0. Why cant you watch it? Is it too exciting and over stimulating with the crowds etc. Ten Pin bowling is fun too.
12-09-2019 07:36 PM
@JosRapp JosRapp I am about to head off for the night. Will be on early tomorrow. Have a kind and caring night. peax
12-09-2019 07:38 PM
I am a sport tragic - love AFL, NRL, soccer, tennis in particular but also watch cricket when my team is playing ...and occasionally Australia. There is a sport thread All Things Sport... you may like to visit. We have occasional discussions on the various sporting events happening and you are most welcome to join in. I support the Eels as well in the NRL, Liverpool in soccer (no local team in Tassie to support) and the Lions in the AFL.
Welcome to the forum @JosRapp
12-09-2019 07:41 PM
12-09-2019 07:56 PM
I support the Canberra Raiders in the NRL. I’m not from Canberra though, they were just the team I chose when I started following rugby league, I think because, at the time, they had different jerseys than other teams except South Sydney. In soccer I support Liverpool and the Central Coast Mariners (my local team). Not really sure why I can’t watch soccer, I just find it kind of frustrating. But I like to listen to it on the radio, especially the EPL.
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre
SANE Forums is published by SANE Australia with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE Australia ABN 92006533606
PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia