Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

managed to get out for a walk with a support worker this morning. ---- well done @The-red-centaur 😍

[The-red-centaur]

@Shaz51 thanks. The weather was really nice yesterday. Sunshine helped a little.



Today- I went to a group this morning and saw my psychiatrist this afternoon. I'm starting on a new antidepressant. I'm hoping it will help. 1
I'm really struggling though. I spoke to my psychiatrist about things, he seemed understanding (hence new meds) I feel so hopeless still though. I told him how I feel like hurting myself all the time. It was hard to admit the obsessive nature of those thoughts. Im tired of fighting them. I just want to give in tbh.
I'm trying though. Its stupidly hard but I'm trying.

[The-red-centaur]

My afternoon had gone to shit. I'm.......done

[tyme]

Hey there @The-red-centaur ,

Is there anything you'd like to talk about? 

[Shaz51]

Ohhh what happened my @The-red-centaur xx 

[The-red-centaur]

I'm just tired of trying. Like yeh it's good I'm starting new meds. But I feel 'like what's the point'. I was going to talk with my carer about how I feel but just as I was about to she found out her cousin just died. And my housemate is having 'moments' and got his footy training cancelled. And I haven't been able to pick up my new meds. And all the shit that has been going wrong the last few weeks has just got me wanting to hurt myself.
Sigh.
I feel like a duck coz my carer wouldn't deal and blame herself but like. I'm done trying.

[The-red-centaur]

@Shaz51 see above.



I feels so stupid. I'm out and can't do it. Sigh. I just want to go home.

[tyme]

Sorry to hear everything is happening all at once @The-red-centaur ! No wonder you feel this way. Maybe now it's just focusing on one small element that you are grateful for - would that help?

I understand our minds like to go into overdrive and we immediately think of everything that is negative or 'wrong'. Yet sometimes, it is worth thinking about what IS working for you.

Do you think this is a possibility? No pressure though.

Otherwise, what is something nice you can do for yourself tonight?

I apologise in advance if there are any errors in this post. My typing is so much faster than my brain today, so I feel like I'm just typing and making up words as I go! Soz!

[The-red-centaur]

@tyme we amnanged to get to the pharmacy just before it shut. We are there getting my new meds now.
I'm just over it all tho. Not hopeful this will do what my psychiatrist is hoping for.
I'm just exhausted. Fighting your brain and emotions constantly is more than I can deal with rn.

[The-red-centaur]

Meds collected. Home.
I really want to harm now. Sigh