Lived Experience Forum

[Captain24]

Today is the day we say goodbye. I am so sad and will miss her so much. I feel the pressure to be strong and supportive. At least I’ll be with a cousin I love and my niece. My niece has never been to a funeral. She is going to need me. 

I really don’t want to do this. But I know I need to. I respect and love my nan, I will do it for her. 

[Bow]

Thinking of you today @Captain24  💕

[FloatingFeather]

I hope you are okay @Captain24 - thinking of you today.

Big hugs,

FloatingFeather 

[Captain24]

Thanks @FloatingFeather 

Ive just gotten home from it all. I’m really tired and feel empty and lost. It’s like I don’t know how I feel. I know I’m not making any sense.

I did hold myself together really well but I think I need to let go. But if I do let go where will I end up? Is it better to let it out and risk it or keep holding on?

I don’t even know what I need to let out. I still feel like I’m heading towards a breakdown. I still feel all the pressure inside. I need to release it but not sure how to safely. But I don’t know what the pressure is to release. 

This makes absolutely no sense. But it’s what is rolling through my head. I think I’m just a mess

[creative_writer]

@Captain24, let yourself cry or scream if you need to 💖. I really do hope you can stay safe 🫂

[FloatingFeather]

I can understand, you must be exhausted. You have had a very emotionally exhaustive day whilst also dealing with your grief @Captain24. I know after my dad died I didn't let my feelings go for a couple days after his funeral because I was concerned once I started I wouldn't be able to stop but when I did give into my true feelings and allowed myself to have a good cry it did eventually make me feel a bit better. 

Are you able to release your feelings in a safe place - do you have a friend, family member, professional, that could sit with you and support you.

You have been through a rough time lately and from my experience it takes a lot to organise and attend a funeral of someone close to you. It can feel like we are just going through the motions until the funeral is over and then things may feel like they are catching up with you. I really hope you are okay. I will send you an email to check in with so please respond when you can.

Keep reaching out for support, we are here for you.

Big hugs,

FloatingFeather

[Bow]

Let it out @Captain24  💕

[Snowie]

@Captain24 💌💌💌

[Captain24]

Hi @Snowie @Bow @creative_writer @Shaz51 @TuxedoCat @FloatingFeather @tyme @Eve7 @Jynx @amber22 and anybody else I forgot. 

I want to thank you guys for all the support you have shown me over the last 6 weeks. 

My life has been a mess. I have kept rehashing everything daily and you have all heard me all the way through. It must be frustrating listening to me. I’m frustrated with myself. 

Today was especially hard. But I wore nans ring and every time I looked at it I thought of her and you guys for suggesting it. It was helpful knowing I had your support. 

I still have a long way to go and some days I’m not sure I will make it through. But I just wanted you all to know how much I have appreciated what you have all done for me. 

Thank you

Captain24

[Shaz51]

Sending you hugs for today my @Captain24 ❤️❤️