Lived Experience Forum

[CheerBear]

With you @Teej, listening and sitting, waiting for it to pass. What can help right now?

[Teej]

I’m not sure @CheerBear. It’s thrown everything I was working towards on its head. I don’t know what to write. 

[CheerBear]

Are you up for telling us what happened or what throwing on your head means @Teej (if it might be helpful)?

I'm so sorry. I know how horrible this one can be. I was an absolute mess after I had mine and had no idea how I was going to get out of it all. The mash that c-link stuff can cause can take a lot to work out but these intense feelings, they don't last forever.

[Teej]

i kind of feel so ashamed that this undoes me.  I have to look for work for 15 hrs a week, no direct help one on one, volunteering doesn’t count and study only if it’s full time. It’s thrown me into full child mode. I lost it in the appointment. She got bubbles out to help calm me down. I nearly drove straight to hospital because I knew it would be so hard by myself. I was going terribly but taking minute by minute until my son came home and my dog won’t leave me alone and the need to turn it all off just skyrocketed.

This is the hard part. I’m holding on because of my psych. I think I just see me as a burden to my family but I know she’ll get into trouble if I follow through. Normally I’ve hated my psych so it’s been easier to go for it.  It drives the shame up so much for my family that I don’t want them to have to suffer my patheticness anymore 

[CheerBear]

Theres no shame in that @Teej. It sounds very much like the way it played out for me and my reaction to it too. Absolute total chaos and feeling so stuck, so scared and so much like it was beyond me. It's a horrible place to be.

Theres also no shame in holding on for whatever reason you are. What's important is that there is something to hold on to and for. All you have to do is hold on (though I get how hard that can be). The rest will come back when chaos calms.

[Teej]

Thanks for getting it @CheerBear. I’m going to turn it off for a bit. I am beyond anything much just now. I’ll check in when I wake. So sorry to be a pain. I was very very close to not caring before about the consequences. Chat tomorrow. 

[CheerBear]

You're never a pain @Teej. I hope sleeping it off helps and will look forward to hearing from you tomorrow. Stay safe ❤

[Shaz51]

@Teejyou are never a pain my friend , here for you and sending you tender hugs

Hello @CheerBear, @outlander xx

[CheerBear]

@Teej how did you sleep? Not going to pester you (beyond this post 😉) but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and wondering how you're going today. Hoping it is a less bananas day for you ❤

[Teej]

I just woke up and am really groggy still @CheerBear.