Lived Experience Forum

[Jennifer_waugh]

I've had electro shock therapy as a final resort after a failed suicide attempt.

The ECT isn't working. Should I just throw the towel in.

[MoonGal]

Oh @Jennifer_waugh, I hear your despair. So sorry the 'last resort' treatment has not helped you. I am pretty sure though that 'throwing the towel in' is a last resort too far. I am so sorry to hear you have attempted suicide recently, I know that feeling of just wanting to 'check out'. I have lived with it since my teens, I have had two suicide attempts and years of white knuckeling 'not' doing it as I have made a non-suicide pact with my partner and Mum.

I know that deep, abiding feeling of failure and want to assure you that even with that, I have moment, days when life is worth living. 

Please reach out and talk to someone now, are you in hospital? Or at home? If at home I have always found lifeline to be a good opiton when I am at the end of my tether. It really helps to talk to someone who is just 'there' for me.

Life Line number : 13 11 14

Please tell us a bit more of your story and what you are struggling with, we are a nice community of people who all live with various states of mental health (we all struggle mightily!) and maybe between us all we might be able to provide a sense of communinty for you as you struggle.


Stay, know you will be heard here.

Perhaps other moderators and contributors might like to come over and say g'day too?

@NikNik, @Fancy_Pants, @Mazarita, @eth, @Former-Member, @Shaz51, @PeppiPatty, 

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Jennifer_waugh

How are you this morning ? My friend @MoonGal wrote my name down so I saw your message......

Everything will be okay. 

The sun rises in the morning. Can you hear the cars beeping outside?

Where do you live? 

It's going to rain here in WEstern Australia......this is good because flowers outside will look all shiny in the wet. 

We are all here for you......

Can you make a cuppa or a drink of water? Can you have little sips?

What is the lifeline number there and remember to call, 1311 14

Please answer when you can 

[eth]

Hi @Jennifer_waugh and thanks for tagging me @MoonGal

I am a suicide attempt survivor too and just that in itself can trigger depression to get much worse.  I hear you.  Please don't.  If you connect with us here you will find that we really support each other and often help each other through the darkest of times.  I've never had ECT myself but there are several threads about it that I have learned from.  You just put 'ECT' on the search bar and will find others who have experienced it.  @GingerWhinger has written about it quite recently.

I also think MoonGal's suggestion of talking to LifeLine is a good one.  They have really helped me at times.  And please talk to your support people if you have any.  Particularly your psych or GP doctors.  If they know what is going on they can help you.

If you want to talk about what is making you feel this way please feel free to share.  Sometimes it takes a little while to get a reply but it is worth it.

[Jennifer_waugh]

I am medically educated and honestly find that the staff at lifeline are pretty unhelpful.

I see my psychiatrist once a week and without his help I find most other things pretty useless to be honest.

[MoonGal]

@Jennifer_waugh, glad you are here. Lifeline isn't for everybody but it sure has helped me (even with my superior knowledge of medical things) when I have been in extremis, just to help get the chatter and rapid thought (or sluggish nowehere to go but down) and terrors out of my brain.

The push back was quick, and I understand that because when I am feeling despearte and hopeless, i can't see anything that can help either.

Glad to hear you are seeing a Psychiatrist regularly, funny but I have an adverse reaction to psychiatrists myeslf, I prefer psychologists working with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Im not a good candidate for regualr 'psycotherapy'. It's good you have a regualr appointment, do you have one coming up? Could an extra appointment be made to discuss your current situation?

Do you want to tell us a bit more about yourself and where you are up to? It might help, you came here to reach out, we are reaching back. 

[NikNik]

Morning @Jennifer_waugh

I'm really glad you found us. As @MoonGal mentioned, this is a wonderful community and I hope that the support from others who have, or are in a similar situation, is helpful for you.

Additional to the suggestion of Lifeline, Suicide Call Back Service and Samaritans might be helpful:

Suicide Call back: 1300 659 467

Samaritans: 13 52 47 

I know that yourself and @suzanne are in contact via email - so I hope the information she provides is helpful.

I hope you continue to check in with this Forum - get to know people and draw as much strength from here as possible.

Nik

[eth]

Do you use mindfulness practices in any form @Jennifer_waugh?  I find the breathing exercises really centre me when nothing else is helping.  Do you have any hobbies or creative expression that you can put yourself into?  Please share more with us of what is going on.

[MoonGal]

@Jennifer_waugh - ther eis a point at which it is just like this. and livingint he moment is all we can do. Living is the thing we do because we are human. Every one of us bar probably none has been where you are right now. We are the ones that got through it, get through it again and again. 

It is a bloody awful life alot of the time. And then there are little bits that also give us a little bit of hope. I have never had ECT but I suspect your brain and cognition right now is struggling following the treatment. 

What did you study? You mentioned medical and that it has put you were you are right now.

Can you tell us about that?

[eth]

@Jennifer_waugh   you have been strong enough to reach out to us here.  Sometimes it's just about getting through the next hour gently with yourself.  I really think you need someone to talk to.  Are you at home or in hospital still?

I am nowhere near the achieving carer and health professional I used to be and sometimes all I am up to is getting through the day, sometimes writing helps me (mostly just for myself) and sometimes I just watch TV, but I'm glad I am here as I could never do that to my adult child again and I know we are there for each other.  Same goes for my Mum.  Is there anyone in your family who you can really trust or a friend who can come and be with you?  Or even a nice park or beach/lake/river to be in/near.  Sometimes nature works wonders too.