Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

[Former-Member]

My cross stitch "Angel of Hope"

P.S. Last recent post on bottom page 11

[Maggie]

OMG @Former-Member that is awesome awesome awesome WOW, mine are nothing like that but I'll give you a look at the one I'm working on atm. You have no idea how much you encourage me, your words. ..keep posting here...brought tears of gratitude. I find posting hard, words don't come easy, and self expression was never allowed growing up, so you see, your words are healing. I can never thank you enough. Alike tick, response or tag, all mean the world. I hope your evening out with friends goes well. Will the week end bring some rest???

[Maggie]

[Former-Member]

Hi @Maggie

Thank you 💕 This is the first chance I have had to read your wonderful post. We definitely would of clicked as friends face to face. But here is good too 😊 

Words may not come easy but the words and what you post here to me is perfect. I never expressed myself for many years either - was very oppressed in a lot of ways. Now it's what you see is who I am in real life. I speak the truth from my heart of what my situation is, how I think and who I am. I can't see any benefit by not being honest in expression - who are we kiddingly but ourselves in the long run. And I find it liberating with a free conscience. Not everyone will like it but it's not about them so much as being true to ourselves and liking who we find. You can be yourself with me Maggie, express away - you are a beautiful person.

Oh my goodness - "Little House Needleworks design!!!!! I love their cross stitch patterns/samplers and have a few in my stash. The one you posted is my favourite and I have it - you did a great job, your stitches are perfect!!! Please do get this one framed if you can as it deserves a place of honour on your walls. If you find that a bit expensive I can post how to "do it yourself framing". It really isn't that difficult. The art studio where I live frames, mats etc for such a reasonable price that I have t yet had to do this, but know how if need be.

The dinner last night went really well although I was in a lot of pain. We went to a Chinese restaurant then ended back at my friends house for a couple of drinks. We laughed the night away, somhard that my side hurt and made it difficult to sleep. But it was worth it and I am making some very valuable friendships.

My daughter has shown signs of improvement the last couple of days. This is good ofcourse in many ways, but the problem is I find I let my guard down as the emotional distance recedes. Grief then starts to wash over me again. Not sure what to do as she can't be fully trusted...but I want to be there. I won't do anything for her though as this just enables her to manipulate - which isn't good for her either. She needs to earn from her mistakes and realise tha life is not for self destruction but to make the most of with postive steps. I hope....Not sure how to deal with my emotions here as that sadness will stop me doing the things I cherish.

Have been lying in bed again but intend to get up and move around for healths sake. How is your day going @Maggie@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope? @Faith-and-Hope - are you painting anything presently? How are your children going? @Former-Member - how are you finding the overseas experience? Are you feeling better for it?

I really love getting all your posts 💕🌹💜🤗xxx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member .....

On Bed Island myself at the moment .... haven't been getting enough sleep at night.

I am currently painting a European streetscape from a photo I took a couple of years ago.  It's coming along nicely .... 

My kids are okay, except S2 who is still struggling with GAD and depression.  His day and night have flipped again.  He has said he will sort it out.  I hope so.  He is hiit and miss with his sleep med at the moment.

WH is subdued, worried sick about S2 and feeling inadequate now that he has been told not to be controlling with him ... but to his credit he is trying to work out some new tools.

💜

[Maggie]

@Former-Member Your dinner sounded like it went well and worth the effort of going, it's a shame the pain spoiled some and caused lack of sleep. Try to get in some rest over the weekend, gain some strength. Some improvement with your daughter would be a relief, always treading on eggshells by the sound of it. Most people don't change unless they want to, some don't see the need, a hard one. 

Im a very honest person, extremely quiet and so called friends walk once they have what they wanted. People scare me in the real world, I've found few to be honest and upfront. I'm very selective now, keep much to myself. My best friend is my little dog, she never leaves my side.

Today I looked after my friends dog. She has her sister in hospital. She had open heart surgery and was in a coma for 6 weeks. She woke up 2 weeks ago, but has a long road ahead of her, she's had a stroke, so needs to learn to walk again. She visits her most days, so I look after the little girl. She's delightful and good company for me and my little one. The cross stitch isn't finished yet, but I'm going to buy a cheap frame and frame it myself. I have done many for friends and had them framed, but it's very expensive. I'm on bed island at the moment with my electric blanket on, yes!!!!! Sleep well.

[Former-Member]

It makes everything seem insurmountable when we don't sleep at night @Faith-and-Hope  Truly empathise. Hopefully exhaustion will do its bit and grant you a better night sleep tonight. Was it feeling on edge or worrying about something that kept you awake?  If it helps you can talk about it here.

I would love to see your European streetscape painting in progress if you would like to share. Sounds beautiful. I have never been overseas - led quite a boring life that way, so am always grateful to see paintings etc of the landscapes from there. I remember not long back that you holidayed there - sounded like quite a memorable trip. I should do it one day I think. Where was your favourite place that you travelled?

Sorry to read S2 is struggling. I use to struggle with GAD - anxiety is terrible, I actually found this harder to deal with than depression. I have two friends whom use to be principals in schools - they are telling me that now as early as primary school, they have had to conduct classes for the students on how to deal with anxiety. I thought that was so sad at how many young ones today struggle this way and are not care free enjoying their youth. I struggled this way when in primary school - but I thought at the time "I was different", alone with feeling like that - not so now. Do you find any certain activities helps your son to relax - or is it too hard for him to focus? When at that age I use to find reprieve in drama classes and performing in plays etc. I loved it.

Good to read that WH is concerned for his son and seeking out other positive ways to try and assist. Sounds like his son brings the best out in him. I wonder if your husband feels the need to control because he feels so out of control with everything else in life? A feeling of hopelessness that usually accompanies depression? I have known men in the past to react similarly in this way when they lose their jobs. It's devastating for them and a form of grief. 

Good to read there are some positives happening for you. Now to make sure you get some sleep...Do you have anything prescribed to enhance slumber if the sleeplessness continues? What do you think is causing it? ❤️

[Former-Member]

Nice to hear from you again @Maggie  It really eeks me when I read of how sincere, honest loving people are used 😤 Truly, one never knows what they have until it is gone. Believe me @Maggie - it's their loss and one day they will realise this fact.

My daughter does have to want to change - the only way unfortunately for her to want this is by learning the hard way. That's why I am stepping back as the loving way didn't work. My love wasn't enough. Hopefully she will come to truly appreciate the good in her life instead of abusing and destroying it. I pray.

I think I saw your gorgeous little dog. Was she a chihuahua? So adorable. And yes, so loyal. If we treat our animal companions with love they never fail to return it. Not always so with people. That's the difference. But when we find those special people in our lives there can also be no love like it. We know them when they sacrifice for us equally, as we do for them, for each other's welfare and good. That's the telltale signs.

I have been hurt and betrayed by many. Some even set out to destroy me for no other good reason but only to destroy that good in me. I was told that in time directly. And they nearly succeeded, I kid you not. So I do know where you are coming from. But I am not scared of them as I give them no power over me (fear gives power, and that includes my daughter as well - although I still grieve over her). I am strong minded in my values and life experience (knowledge) and they cannot get a rise or drag me in no more. I stand my ground the right way - not to their level. Which can take strength. They have no control over me. They soon get bored and move on to weaker prey. 

For me with friendships it's about nurturing trust and being who we are. Although in face to face life I love and care for people, don't judge and sincerely respect all, "I won't allow anyone close until trust has been nurtured and earned" (that's how we protect ourselves from being hurt or harmed emotionally/mentally/physically); This does take time and effort from both parties and a two way street for success I am learning. That's one of the reasons I went out with people last night, to nurture and get to know them. 

If something is amiss and is serious say in a work situation etc, I will call it out and/or discuss it with a trusted other that can do something about it. If that fails I will move away. But they cannot hurt me no more because of the knowledge, values and self belief I have now. That all serves to protect oneself. That can be the same for you my friend. You are stronger than you think so don't be afraid of people. If you are strong in values and integrity believe in that and yourself and you will always win in the end. Trust me. Don't let these people push you out of society as in reality you are stronger. Those who use and abuse are weak. Remember that and stick to your guns and shine your light in the world as it is truly beautiful. And people need that and will need you whether they admit/voice it or not.

So sorry to read of your friends sisters stroke. Hideous things they are and something I am actively trying to avoid. You are a good friend helping her out, that's what it's all about xxxxx

[Maggie]

@Former-Member Good morning, or is it afternoon???

You said something very interesting yesterday...my love wasn't enough.... I knew a family a while back who adopted children, they said exactly that..their love wasn't enough... Interesting, as it's often said love is all it takes, life is a great teacher, as is pain. So often we all have to learn the hard way.

My little dog is the chihuahua, but not the one in the jacket, she's earlier in the thread. I agree about their loyalty and love, also those few people who touch our lives and make a difference. They may be few and far between, but worth the wait.

Yes I know well those who try to destroy, use, abuse, bully. I think I have finally made a change in this as I no longer put up with it. I don't like confrontation, but gently say my piece and walk away. It's freeing even on a small scale. I have my friends dog sitting on my knee at the moment, they are both one my knee. It looks uncomfortable but they don't seem to mind..lol.. I have a least washed up today, ran out of dishes actually, pushed into it.. I found this pic this morning and thought of you.

[Maggie]