Lived Experience Forum

[Gazza75]

Hey @Former-Member , just checking in with you to see how you are feeling.  I hope you are in a better place and that you are coping alright.  It must be draining to keep up a brave front all the time.  Please don't hate yourself for having an illness, I think you are strong to endure like you have and do.  Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

[outlander]

thinking of you @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Hi @Gazza75  @outlander 

thank you for thinking of me. I hope you are both coping.

i had appointments today and more tomorrow and I think there will be a decision if I need to go back to hospital. I’m very tired of living at the moment. I have significant physical symptoms and they’ve all been cleared physically and i don’t know how to move on. But I’m in touch with my care team. I just feel like a waste of space. People are physically sick, and im not and i should be grateful for that, but it doesn’t help me because it doesn’t go away. I’ve got that many pills to take now for all sorts of stuff but it’s not like it’ll make it better, just for the moment, but not heal it. A bit like a short acting anti anxiety medication. I’m sorry I’m so negative, I just don’t know how to move forward.

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member  are you ok my friend , i am here for you xxx

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51  xox

[Former-Member]

People tell me that I should think about how I would hurt people if I did something to myself. But what about me hurting, why do I have to hurt just so others don’t get hurt? I don’t get that concept and I hate myself for letting people into my life that I could hurt. I don’t want to hurt people but I don’t want to hurt. I’m tired of trying to pick myself up every single day and I don’t think I can cope with more hurt. 

[Shaz51]

sending you understanding hugs @Former-Member 

can I ask you what is your diagnosis xx

My husband has had depression and anxiety all his life , I think he has bipolar 11 and other diagnosis as well

@Former-Member, iam here for you if you like to chat my friend xxxx

[Jupiter]

It sounds like you're currently in a really hard place @Former-Member . I just sent an email to check in with you.

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Shaz51 

my main diagnosis is complex ptsd and bipolar 2. I’m just so tired of it all. 

[Shaz51]

understandable my friend @Former-Member 

my mr shaz has bipolar 11  too

of course you get tired of it my @Former-Member , I get tired of my physical problems too but one step at a time my awesome friend , walking with you
i am here for you all the way and so is @outlander , @Gazza75 , @Jhaneylena