Lived Experience Forum

[BeYo]

Hi everyone, I'm a young adult and starting to figure my life out. Now that I understand more about myself and bipolarity, I realised that depression is very common in bipolar.

I'm always very happy (often ecstatic). I also can turn furious at any second. I do burts into tears terribly but I do not get depressed.

Is there any bipolar out there who's always manic but rarely get depressed? 

Am I catagorised in the wrong mental issue?

[NikNik]

Hi @BeYo

Good on you for looking to learn more about bipolar and increase your understanding.

A quick question which might help people respond to your post - were you diagnosed with Bipolar 1 or 2?

Welcome to the Forums by the way 🙂

[BeYo]

Hi @NikNik thank you, nice to be here.

I'm bipolar 2 and they said I channel my emotion through anger instead of sadness.

But all the bipolar people I know (very few) experience depression.

I started to think that people like me just are not as opened because most of the time we feel pretty happy and not sad. Hence no need to look for any answer or even admitting it.

I'm that kind of happy people that look like they've had too much caffeine or alcohol or energy drinks. Then I suddenly turn mad.

[NikNik]

Hi @BeYo

There are a fair few members here who have disclosed their have Bipolar 2, some that pop to mind are @Mazarita, @kato and @Puggle.

I can't say for sure whether you have been or haven't diagnosed correctly. Even though many people experience depression, even that experience is different for everyone and they channel that emotion in different ways too.

Regardless, it sounds like this anger is problematic for you. From what I understand, the main aim is to recognise and manage the cycles, so they are no longer impacting your life in a negative way.

@MoonGal wrote an amazing post here about observing her own cycle, which you might find interesting.

Does anyone wish to share their experiences with BeYo?

Is anger something you have experienced as part of your cycle?

[Puggle]

Hi BeYo

As NikNik says, I'm recently diagnosed myself and I can guarantee from my experience there are more exceptions to the rule than there are textbook bipolar. According to my psych I'm bipolar 1.5 because I'm too severe for one and not severe enough for the other :). I also have ultra rapid cycling and go thru a cycle in 8-14 days.

I've been treated for depression every time I sought help because that was easiest all round. But the mania is what destroys my life. The anger, the delusions, the absence of emotional connectivity. Sure I can have the giddy happiness and the fizzing overabundence of energy but that's easy to live with. Rarely do people talk about the mania, there's little the general public can understand, so you'll hear most about the depression.

Long answer short. Imho mania is as debilitating as depression if not waaaaay more. There's no single bipolar mood mold everyone fits into. If you are to find others like you, stay on forums like these.

And good luck with your new, post diagnosis life xo

[BeYo]

Thank you @NikNik and @Puggle

Now I'm thinking I should go back to see a psychologist that I started to get my life (and mind) together. 

I decided to keep this and didn't seek for more help because it keeps me "happy" and I don't harm anyone anyway. 

But the others get the sad feeling and I don't.

I feel like I'm a minority in the minority.  

[Mazarita]

Hi @BeYo,

I'm diagnosed bipolar. Whether it is I or II is still a little unclear to me. I tend to think Bipolar II, even though I have had manic episodes which lasted for a very long time (years) and involved me ending up (on the spur of the moment) alone in strange circumstances living in a motel in the USA for two months. These days though, things are much more under control. Rage has certainly been a part of my symptoms, though with medication and changes to lifestyle and attitude, this has reduced to virtually nonexistent at present.

Depression has been a major component of my bipolar but it has manifested in different ways over the decades I've been treated for my mental illness. Over the past several months I have been coming out of a state of being very housebound and socially phobic. My actions over recent years have been depressive (sleeping huge amounts of time, rarely leaving the flat, not answering the phone etc), but a lot of the time I was not particularly aware of deeply sad feelings. This is in contrast to earlier times in my life when the sadness was overwhelming and I cried rivers.

The point of all of this is that we do seem to be all different with this diagnosis and, even for one person, symptoms can change and present differently over time. We are all dealing with mental health challenges and that's what unites us on this forum. You are definitely not in the minority and are most welcome. 🙂

[brockovich86]

I am in no way an expert.. but just wanted to suggest you get reevaluated. It could be a comorbid condition rather then Bipolar.

My NPD ex convinced me I had bipolar and pushed me to see doctors and psycs, only to have them all say it was comorbid anxiety/depression.

That was a couple of years ago, and now I am being evaluated for ADHD/Depression/PTSD (All serve anxiety attacks come on due to ADHD symptoms I never even noticed until my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD)

I have been with the same GP for 6 years & this has really helped to get to the bottom of it because she's seen me go through so much & can offer her long term observation opinion as well as her personal/professional opinion.

If you don't have a good GP. Get one ASAP. Call around and see who has the most experience dealing with long term comorbid mood/personality disorders & get in with them (if they are not taking new patients get your current GP to call them to make an exception)

[BeYo]

Whoa people actually answered my question! This forum is very helpful! Thank you everyone!

Hi @Mazarita, I thought I was just being lazy that some weeks I sleep a lot. When I was at school, my teacher talked to my mum about me sleeping in class.

Yes, I keep moving towns (and a country once) too! I changed 4 professional (career) jobs in the last 2 years.

I'm seeing a psychologist soon.

[NikNik]

Hi @brokovich86

Thank you for sharing your experience.
Just a quick question, what does NPD stand for? So many acronyms in the world of mental health 🙂