Lived Experience Forum

[Magpie2]

I need help adapting to working in a role that is now insecure.

After 20+ years in the workforce, in October last year I started in a profession I had been working toward for years, but there were so many difficulties and a fair bit of discrimination between me and getting this job. I've got a lot of relevant experience, but employers in this field just prefer early-year professionals who will work any hours it takes, and I have kids and now little useful childcare, so can't promise that. 

They advertised the job as ongoing (or I simply wouldn't have applied); it's public service, but not federal; a public service that runs on a shoestring. I didn't care about being paid less, but still expected that it would be 'secure'. This lefty-forever govt even spouts several policies geared toward promoting job security. 
When I was offered the job, they offered a 12-month contract instead, but said that's just due to the way they're funded and the jobs nearly always roll over. I know I took that chance. 
I've had a f-ed up supervisor this year: new to supervising; quite good (and awarded) at our usual role, but the things that make her good at that (precision, perfectionism, workaholic) make her a nightmare manager. I took on board what I could, worked my butt off... and then a couple of weeks ago she moved to a different role. In the past couple of months, I've had other supervisor that say really really good stuff about my work; she would just pick holes in the bad parts 'to help me improve'. Anyway, the point is, I outlasted her and things were going reasonably well. 
A few weeks before she left, HR joined one of our 'weekly' chats and said that the organisation's budget is way tighter now due to some internal funding issues, and there's a fair chance that one-year contracts like mine won't be renewed. I was gutted, especially because of the way she delivered the message, but just resolved to do my level best to get as good a reference as I could to help me get my next job in this profession. 
But this week I spoke with another senior manager who had offered to chat, and she added the info that broke me: that I'll have to reapply for my job. 
Yesterday I went into work, ate a bottle of pills and spent the day in the ED. I'm okay, but I'm not okay. 
There are now two months left on the contract. They 'kindly' renewed the contract for an extra month, supposedly because of Covid, but - oh what a coincidence - the govt is renewing temporary contracts that would expire in Sep/October until November... just after the election. Hmmm. 
I want to give it my best shot. I want to be determined and just turn up and work on tasks because they're worth doing, I can do them well when I'm working with the other supervisors, because I neeeeeed at least one of them to give me a good reference, and because it's just what I do. I've worked too hard to get here to give up now. 
But I'm so effing angry at the way they handled this, especially the hypocrisy about promoting secure jobs. I know that I'm lucky to have a job compared to those in industries that have been trashed by covid, but I'm so angry about the (age/motherhood) discrimination in this profession. And I'm afraid that when I turn up again I won't be able to work again, or worse. (Very few people work in the office, and I'm there alone for an hour+ each morning so I can fit my hours in before school pickup.)
How do you stay motivated to work in a role once you take more hits than you can deal? It's worth doing the work for its own sake or the reference, but I just can't any more. I like most of the nature of the work and most of the colleagues, but how do you re-apply for your role when you want to tell them to f-off for the way management treats people?

[DJMasters]

@Magpie2 Toatally feel for you and can absolutely relate.  Unfortunately the public sector isn't always the kindest place and it really depends where you work as in what department.  Some Departments, continue on with temp roles forever and a day and others are touch and go.  I've seen it, expereinced it and dealth with your situation first hand as well.  The unfortunate thing is all too often, they have the wrong people in the wrong positins.

However, I hope to encourage you with this.  Keep doing what you are doing, going in and doing your best.  Great attitude and this is what will help you land your next role.  You have skills and talent, and I am sure you are good at what you do.  Have you connected with a recruitment agency?  Maybe keep in touch with your former supervisor as well just to keep that positive relationship going.  As hard as it is, don't be too discouraged.  It is the unfortunate political game of the public sector.  Things may change again after the election.....just remember you have skills and talent, and if this agency doesn't appreciate that, then someone else will.

Hope this helps, always here to help where we can 🙂

[Appleblossom]

@Magpie2 

Sorry you spent time in ED over work. 

Hearing you about managers that are hard to deal with but put on a good show, always jockeying for that promotion.  Its great that your work ethic is bigger than the smaller issues.  Job insecurity has been rising for a long time, and Covid will make it worse.

Stay Safe Take Care and Stay Kind

Apple