Lived Experience Forum

[amber22]

Hey everyone!

On Thursday 10th of August 2023, we will be holding a Peer Group Chat on the topic of Setting Boundaries & Expectations.

Setting boundaries and expectations for ourselves and our loved ones can provide a really important foundation for navigating complex mental health. Let’s come together to discuss what our expectations and boundaries might be, how we could establish them, and communicate them with others.  

The event start times across Australia are below:

Western Australia: 5pm 
Northern Territory & South Australia: 6:30pm 

Queensland, New South Wales, Australian Capital Territory, Victoria & Tasmania: 7pm

For anyone unfamiliar with Peer Group Chats, each focuses on a specific topic and is guided by Peer Workers with lived experience of mental health issues and recovery, &/or caring for someone with complex mental health. A counsellor is also present as a moderator to help ensure a safe environment for individuals and the group. It is a space for us as peers to share our stories and experiences, and connect with those who are going through something similar. 

Anyone is welcome to join! Tagging some members who may be interested below: 

@Shaz51 @Snowie @Meggle @chibam @Appleblossom @sammy3 @Jacques @creative_writer @Captain24 @Bobbie @Messylife @Mk333 @Gillie @wellwellwellnez @Laura4 @Dimity @Kyle1 @Emergence @tonys @Mk333 @StuF @CloudBerry @ShiningStar @Smiling_Gecko @Bow 

Peer Group Chats are hosted outside of the forums, using a platform called Chatwee. 

To join an Online Peer Group and participate, you will need to register for an account with Chatwee.
To access the group to observe only and not participate, you can access Chatwee as a Guest.
On the night, follow this link to access Chatwee before the group starts.
You can join our Peer Group Chats every Thursday from 7:00-8:30pm (AEDT). Check out the FAQs page for more information.  

We hope to see you there 😊 If you can't make it but are interested, you can always catch up reading the transcript afterwards here. We also invite you to continue the conversation below on this thread if you can't make the night but also wish to contribute some of your responses. We will post some dot point prompts on the day that can get the conversation started if you're unable to make the live event!

[amber22]

Good afternoon lovely people, 

Just a reminder that the next Online Peer Group Chat on Setting Boundaries & Expectations will take place tonight from 7-8:30pm AEST.  As always, for ease of reference, times across Australia are in the graphic and listed below: 

Western Australia: 5pm 
Northern Territory & South Australia: 6:30pm 

Queensland, New South Wales, Australian Capital Territory, Victoria & Tasmania: 7pm 

Tonight, you can expect discussion about:  

• How our boundaries and expectations might differ for different people 
• How we might handle when our boundaries or expectations are challenged by others 
• Managing and maintaining our boundaries and expectations for our own mental health 

Tagging members who have supported or otherwise interacted with the thread so far as well as those who may be interested to receive a reminder:

@Snowie @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Birdofparadise8 @Captain24 @creative_writer @outlander @Oaktree @chibam @Emergence @Jacques @CloudBerry @Former-Member @Bobbie @Messylife @Gillie @Dimity @wellwellwellnez @Kyle1 @StuF @tonys @Bow @ShiningStar @SmilingGecko @StanD @NatureLover @LostAngel @Faith-and-Hope @Sophia1 @Determined @Kermit @Lyra_reachout 

[Appleblossom]

Sorry I cant be there but I  realised today that is a purpose I need to take on in all my relationships, professional and otherwise.  Setting boundaries.

[TideisTurning]

Hey everyone!

Just a reminder that our Peer Group Chat on Setting Boundaries & Expectations will start in just over 15 minutes at 7pm! Everyone is welcome! See you then 🙂 

Tagging members who have supported or otherwise interacted with the thread so far as well as those who may be interested to receive a reminder: @Snowie @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @StanD @Bow @NatureLover @LostAngel @Shaz51 @Sophia1 @Determined @Kermit @Lyra_reachout @chibam @Oaktree @Bill16 @Eden1919 @Jacques @Birdofparadise8 @Meowmy @Neuro_Spicy @SmilingGecko @StuF @The-red-centaur @down_not_out @bmom6 @tyme @outlander 

[outlander]

thanks @TideisTurning but im not up for it tonight. im working and exhausted today but hopefully next time

[Faith-and-Hope]

I’m a bit too tired too @TideisTurning @but will check back in afterwards to follow the chat.

[TideisTurning]

Hey everyone, 

I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to circle back to continuing the discussion on this topic. A little while ago, in another one of these post-discussions (here), I spoke about pufferfish as a metaphor to describe my own expressions of anger. With boundaries, it seems porcupines might be a metaphor that could be used- more on that here! Curious to hear if this idea of porcupines resonates for anyone in relation to boundaries?

Semi related and also touched on in our discussion was the topic of expectations. Something I've learned is that expectations can sometimes be unsaid- whether that's because it's an inherent expectation and it's presumed the other person knows about it or because you haven't realised this is an expectation you hold. I'm curious to hear from anyone who would like to share what you think the impact of unsaid or unspoken boundaries might be?

@Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Appleblossom @Snowie @chibam @Captain24 

[Faith-and-Hope]

My experience was with someone who presents as NPD @TideisTurning.  Didn’t matter what my boundaries were, they were playing their own game, and when the mask dropped it became clear that he was treacherous and had been trashing all the boundaries I thought were expected, for years.

If you’re dealing with someone healthy, I think it is worth taking stock periodically, checking in, perhaps using quizzes to check out where you stand with each other in areas that might be presumed.  If you’re working to a template like that it becomes a bit more objective, but you might stumble across areas in the relationship that need attention, or further discussion.