Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Absolutely love your intro @Jynx   especially the last part 😁 I find it hard to laugh about it sometimes, but it is a conundrum. I had to google greyasexual, to be honest, I don't understand the terminology. In the end we're all humans.

I looked up lgbt+ vocabulary just now. As in your example, if there are other variables how can you describe in a word what you feel? The one word that just resonated with me is actually agender. I understand the social constructs of binary genders, but I don't think I could ever fathom what that really meant - I'm not sure if this is because of me being on the autism spectrum though. I was gender non-confirming from early childhood & didn't follow female role models. So I might be aeiou, atypical, agender? I let that settle before I think about anything else 😂

I'm glad you wrote about your experience, it helps me understand. I'm usually worried to talk about labels, as I don't want to offend people by being ignorant. 

Thanks for the info, I'll have a look at the ARCVIC support group - if they let me in 😞  I found a face-to-face 40+ support group before covid, but it was far away and then it got cancelled. 

🙃 trying to be more sociable 🙃 if I learnt one thing during my last admission (and I learnt more than one thing) is that I feel better when I'm more connected. It's more a reminder than learning, I forget a lot & coupled with low self worth a recipe for disaster 🤯

Have a good night x

[Schitzo]

@Former-Member  My day has been going pretty well, thank you for asking. I think you need to talk to someone who can help the real you come through ❤️ xx

[Fluttershy1]

@Schitzo @outlander @Former-Member @Adge @Snowie - I feel like I can't accept myself for who I am, I'm non binary and bisexual. Sometimes I feel really guilty for who I am and one of my friends practically left me because I was non binary and bisexual, she didn't accept me for who I was and made me feel really bad about myself. 
I had a friend who was queer block be because apparently I was faking who I was when I wasn't. 
I am who I am, I have to somehow accept the fact that not everybody will accept it.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Schitzo 

I'm glad you had a good day and hope today will be nice too x

I agree with you, but I feel overwhelmed most of the time with my mental illnesses. Most days it's relentless, but I feel a bit stronger since hospital. It's not an excuse and I do want to work through / feel myself through gender identity, sexuality and expression. And I need words. And I need people. And now it's too much again. I'll go and paint 😕

[Former-Member]

@Fluttershy1 💙🌈❤️

[Schitzo]

@Former-Member  You will be able to talk about it when you are ready, there is no rush. I'm sorry I stressed you out.

Sending you hugs🤗🤗🤗❤️🌷 xx

[Former-Member]

💙 @Schitzo 

you don't stress me out - I confuse myself :face_with_rolling_eyes:

What are you doing today? The weather's miserable here, so I'll go back to my art project.

[Schitzo]

@Former-Member  I went to the office/stationery shop to see if I can find a cheap laptop. I was using the public computers at the library but they are currently unavailable due to the library having a burst water pipe.💛🌻 xx

[Former-Member]

Hi @Schitzo 

Did I reply to your post? Maybe in another thread. Did you find a laptop? How was your day today? 

I'm ok. My mood's still erratic, but the changes are not as extreme as before I was admitted to hospital. 

[Former-Member]

Hello my Rainbow family 🌈

Welcome to anyone who drops in too 🌈

@outlander @Schitzo @Fluttershy1 @Adge @Jynx  @eth @nashy @Fluttershy1 @Maggie @TheVorticon @NatureLover @Shaz51 @Rebel @Snowie @The-red-centaur 

How are you all? I hope your weekends held something nice. What are your plans for the week?

I'm ok, moods are still erratic, but more manageable than before I went into hospital. My nice thing on the weekend was doing art. This week is full of appointments, but I'll try to catch up with a friend too. I get tired quickly and that impacts what I can do on a daily basis. And my concentration 🤪 the concept of time is getting more and more foreign to me... I was looking at some info on gender identity yesterday, also chatted here on the forum and contacted qlife. I'm trying to meet people but am also terrified that someone will break my trust. I don't trust people.

Anyone, I just wanted to check in with everyone and hope you're doing ok xox