Support For Historylover

[chibam]

@Historylover, I've read your most recent posts. I'm sorry for your predicament as you relate in (whats left of) them. And what has since happened in that thread has almost certainly not been reassuring for you, at a time when I can tell your aching for some genuine reassurance.

You've spoken about how they are collecting your words to use against you. Might it be useful to employ that same strategy yourself?

You say that they won't specify what your supposed "delusional disorder" is, thereby leaving you without a charge to argue against. But what are the common factors that define all "delusional disorders"? I can only assume that you've said something that, in their eyes, is considdered a delusional idea.

So, have they come across as hostile to any particular idea or principal that you've voiced? Have they been attacking/undermining/challenging any particular statements you've made? e.g. by asking things like "How do you know that?, What makes you think that?, Have you considdered that what's actually going on is...", ect.? If you can determine what thoughts their taking issue with, that may give you some sort of hint as to what sort of delusions they are going to accuse you with. It might help you arm yourself better for your tribunal.

I know that with my ordeal with my own therapist, the key to escaping was right in front of my face the whole time, for those whole 7 years, and I just kept ignoring it because I was too damned fixated on getting the therapist to respect my point of view, rather then just telling her what she wanted to hear. All that time she kept making irrelevant comments about my financial situation, and how I needed more money. I brushed them off because I had much bigger worries to contend with. Then, I was finally pronounced cured and let go when she decided that I had enough money for her liking. Think of all the grief I could've spared myself if only I'd truly listened early on to her fixation with money, and told her that I'd somehow come in to a fortune, thus resolving all the money problems she was so obsessed with.

Maybe this lesson can somehow be applied to your situation? You don't get set free (in my experiance, at least) until you tell them what they want to hear. And you can't tell them what they want to hear until you've really listened to what their claiming is wrong with you, and stopped trying to dispute those diagnosises, however dodgy they may be. Sometimes the messages are more subtle then we can hear, but I think most therapists will drop some sort of indications about what they don't like about you - even if it's just a contemptuous facial expression when a certain idea is voiced.

I don't know what more I can suggest at this point, @Historylover .😔 I can only wish you all the best for your tribunal on Monday, and for the remainder of your treatment, however long that may be.

Be well, @Historylover . And know that you have people rooting for you on the outside, even if we can't do anything practical to help.🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Historylover]

Thank you, @chibam. Yes, it's tough when you need your online friends to be there and voicing true experiences are edited. I understand the dilemma but where else do I turn? How do I explain my predicament without explaining my experiences?

Anyway, it is possible that one 'delusion' is my experience with ex-psy's telepathy. It's not 'hearing voices', it's telepathy. It's scientifically proven if they bothered to branch out, do the research and extend their minds. They think they know it all, but they've only scratched the surface. After all, consciousness is supposed to be their field of expertise. It seems like it's mine!!

I'll post this while it's still there and do part 2 in a moment.

[chibam]

The thing about the scientific community, @Historylover , is that they all get to pick and choose which scientific proofs they choose to acknowledge. It's often marketed as a completely unbiased culture; but the reality is that the scientific community is as biased and corrupt as any human institution.

To be frank, I don't know if it would be the most effective strategy to try to prove the existance of telepathy in your hearing. I suspect your judges have probably already made their mind up about such matters, and the validity/relevance of any scientific evidance you might lean on to that end. As I say, they get to pick and choose what scientific evidance they adhere to.

If your goal is to simply get out of that place, you might need to betray yourself to some extent. You might need to agree with their claims that certain ideas you hold to be sacred truths are, in fact, delusions.

I had to agree that my life was fine, based solely on the fact that "I had enough money", in order to be let out of my own therapy situation. Pretending that life revolves first and foremost around money/materialism was more offensive to me then you can possibly imagine. But agreeing to the lie got me out of that hell.

Sometimes you've just got to pick your battles, I think.

[Historylover]

@chibam, the other 'delusion' could be that my ex-psy advised that we would meet socially at a future time. They think they are the only people who are important. (I've got news for them!). For them, it's ludicrous that he would find me a valued person to socialise with!!! ME!!! (have I got further news for them!!) So, neither was that a delusion!!!

 In fact, he even had me study medical text books for 6-8 years, travel, improve myself all round. He groomed me for his society. (and I hate the word 'groomed'). So how amazing that such a nobody of a psy thought herself so important that they may think that a ' delusion'. (I didn't make the same appraisal of her as she has of herself). The sheer arrogance!! And pure ignorance.

And then he dumped me when I was 68, had impoverished me taking his financial advice and caused PTSD. I still battle trying to understand this situation. I just wish he'd talk to me and explain. I was his project, his experiment, his teammate, his prototype of what can be achieved when they discard the rubbish with which they've been inculcated and start to question everything.

I don't have 'delusions'. I deal with hard realities. And they hurt!

[chibam]

Reading your last post, @Historylover , it's just occurred to me that your currant treatment team may have reached out to your former therapist to get his take on your history together, including whatever interactions you've had since your therapy ended (I know you've said that you've tried reaching out to him numerous times since then, with no response).

You might need to be prepared to encounter evidance from him in your hearing. Judging by the things you've told me about him - about the way he seems to have turned on you... well, just try to brace yourself that you may be in for an uphill battle against evidance provided by him.

I don't know. I've never actually been through one of these hearings myself.

[Historylover]

Before I finish reading your post, @chibam  - telepathy is the crux of so much misconception in psychiatry. I won't again list the numbers of government organisations and Nobel and another prestigious prize winners (can't remember it's name) etc. etc. who attest to the metaphysical. I will never back down. Never. When you experience it, you know it's real and never question it again. In fact, it just starts you on a marvellous journey of even greater discovery. People are being diagnosed with 'hearing voices' much of which is very, very likely sourced from malevolent relationships. There is too much that must be re-examined. And the time is now. Too much harm has already been done.

So, I guess your reasoning must be that you don't believe in it. That's fine. But you're wrong. The metaphysical is real whether people believe in it or not. And it's amazing. 

[Historylover]

And, @chibam  that's the trouble. One so-called expert believes one thing, another- something completely different. And on and on. It can't go on like this. People are being harmed and that's not acceptable. I'll fight this to the death. They have to admit they don't know everything and start to communicate, compare and contrast.

[Historylover]

It's not just the scientific community that is biased @chibam, it's also the universities. If you disagree with the teacher, their responses and marking can be personal. Independent thinkers can drop out rather than argue, leaving the sheep to continue.

[Historylover]

@chibam, I don't lie or exaggerate. He trained me that way. I can only tell the truth. At any cost.

I still don't understand if this is all part of his masterplan, to bring a correction to the profession. I perceived that it was his life, his reason for being.

The profession continued as always, like sheep, and he and I went another path. I want to believe that that is true. The proof of the pudding will be in the eating. And perhaps we haven't finished our work together yet. Perhaps.

[Historylover]

I did pick my battle @chibam, this is it. I'll never back down on this. When a member of the public knows more about psychiatry than psychiatrists...well, what can I say? By their unwillingness to concede that they  will always  have a lot to learn, they have been left behind. I hope it hurts.