Coming to terms with reality

[Adek]

Blessed Friday to u @A2Z. Hoping you wouldn't mind sharing with us more on how you got off meds. I tried 2010..it was fine for a few months but after 6 months or so my condition worsen... i was hospitalized... had few sessions of ECT & after 2 yrs it didn't improve i had to give up my job. The multitasking job, polygamy, children.. had all been the major stress factors. Now that i am off all 3...i am really keen to try again...with proper guidance..
What do u think? @Former-Member @eudemonism @Appleblossom @Vanessa5

[Appleblossom]

Hello @A2Z

Lovely to hear from you.  Congrats on being med-free. Good Luck with travels.

@eudemonism and @Former-Member hope you are well.

@Adek I like my water and apple cider (got strange tastes lol) and grew up as a dutchie with almond slice both from real almonds and my nanna's cheap alternative made with semolina and almond essence.  These days we are so fortunate to have so many good foods available.  In her day making ends meet was more difficult and compromises in nutrition were frequent.

Btw I think it is a beaut idea to try and go off meds if you want, have guidance and have reduced all those stressors.  It is no surprise with all that going on that you were stressed through the roof. 

I also have simplified life so I can manage individual stressors and hope to reduce my meds again, but in the meantime am having priority on releasing my son and helping him gently transition into life in the best way possible without misunderstandings or unecessary or unpredictable stress. I need to be extra careful as we had a lot of death to deal with when he was very little, like living through wartime issues that had not been addressed in the past.  I would rather it was me on meds than him.

[eudemonism]

Ahh. I'm only just working out what life is about. And it's not that great really... there ain't a great deal of stuff out there that i don't already know about (or am capable of achieving ) so i think it's gonna vea case of slowing everything down and taking it real easy from now on and just accepting what my life is and what i know is out there. And take day bye day.

[eudemonism]

I struggle dealing with life, people, reality, society, religions, systems, responsibilities, my circumstances. And my thoughts, feelings and actions. It's full of challenges. And I'm better off just stepping back and letting the world and life pass me bye then spending my time worrying about all of it.

Because especially when I'm down or having a bad day. It's just a matter of life getting the better of me. And there no point in stressing about it. Just let it pass. And move on. I've been sober from alcohol and illicit drugs for 17 days now. And have decided to quit coffee and quit cigarettes. So these things in themselves will be causing lots of changes within me. Plus i have noticed that all relationships have a binding agent between them. I will just have to adapt and learn to live without them and learn to live with the results. And find relationships that don't havea negative binding agent which keeps it together.

[Adek]

Thanks for that encouragement @Appleblossom. The fact that two of my kids are not on meds despite being diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD proves it is possible though i am aware they too are having hard time dealing with colleagues, lecturers even family members. They tend to be loners like me and apply that Touch N Go principles like i do. Am trying to give them as much space but at the same time keeping intouch at least once awhile via sms or visits. We as mothers can only guide them as much as we can..not being too hard on ourselves at the same time. Be their friends rather than protectors lke we used to be when they were small.🌷🌷

Its a great feeling having u posting again @eudemonism. I hope @Former-Member will be here too like she used to. One must really hv that determination and persistence as u do @eudemonism... to go cold turkey on everything at one go. And for having done it over two weeks and still going strong is truly a miracle. To be around people that uplift us..and see even the slightest potential we have is the only way to build our lives back again. They say..total stangers can make good partners and i do believe in that. Closing some doors..not because we are rude or ignorant but simply because...the doors no longer lead somewhere...🦄

[eudemonism]

I am beginning to resent the big picture of society. And (im not sure what is causing it.) Does anyone have any ideas what it may be? ) I am beginning to resent all the supposed sources of help that are available and people in general. From family too friends. All the spectrum of professionals. All the groups, organisations and religions. The financial system. The health system. The education system. How people work in general!

A big problem when i sit back and reflect upon the matter! Alcohol, drugs illegal or legal, food, rent, power, water, costs of essentials and vehicle running and maintenance. Myself -even though it's not my doing or my problem.

If i dont participate in any of these things. Example. Drink alcohol. Do drugs. Legal or illegal. Need social support that's based around some sort of problem or religion. Have health issues. Need medication. Supported accommodation. Have financial issues. I irradicate all these unnecessary people from my life.

[Adek]

Its the interdependent colonies that build an ecosystem @eudemonism.

[eudemonism]

I seen a video the other day that suggested. No one is self made. And i suppose you could say the same about. No one has brought upon their own demise. Meaning lots of people are involved with either way the story goes. From whatever baseline the big picture of an individual is assessed bye.

Today i have realized. That apart of the reason i have been addicted to so many substances for such along time. Is because of interpersonal people problems. On (either ) a psychical, psychological, emotional and spiritual level. And my way of coping with these problems is to use drugs or substances to cope my way through the emotional reactions other people are causing within me. And of course it works in return from myself to them. And its irrelevant of what profession they are. Label they carry. Amount of money they make. Whether it be family member. Friend. Community member. School college. Work college. Etcetera. (Sorry about all the categorizing in return too explain myself )

So essentially im carrying the burdens of alot of people who are conducting themselves inappropriately. Or bye an immoral standard. Or who have bad etiquette. Got it all wrong!

So a life free from drugs and substances whether legal or illegal is going to take some adjusting and adapting. And a new form of problem solving the issues other people have caused me. Whether it be. Traumatic Memories. An uneasy present situation or fears about the future. (All too fo with other people! )

So my prospective and attitude is all i really have unless I'm going to start openly rebuking and resolving peoples issues for them. In a way that means i come out of the situation satisfied and happy. And we carry our own shortcomings on our own backs instead of me always walking away twisted, bitter, disturbed, upset and looking to mask the problems with substances of some description.

Just the way of the world I suppose.

Give feedback if you like.

[eudemonism]

After so much damage has been done. It kind of feels pointless at this stage. But yea, glad I've realized and woken up too myself and can now moved on to a happy resolution for myself. And teach people the error of their ways in the process. Well try too. Which they won't like. Like, i didn't like. Which, they can mask with whatever they please. As long as it don't bother me! Lol.

[Adek]

".....lots of people are involved with either way the story goes..."

"....And my way of coping with these problems is to use drugs or substances to cope my way through the emotional reactions other people are causing within me...."

".......So a life free from drugs and substances whether legal or illegal is going to take some adjusting and adapting. And a new form of problem solving the issues other people have caused me...."


I believe..you have seen the whole picture now @eudemonism. You have analysed the baggages you've been carrying all the while too...and how you have responded to each external stimulus that created the atmosphere within yourself. These are what i meant with choices. Having made the wrong choices sometimes lead us to a better road..to a correct path...to a better understanding of what life challenges are all about. And those wrong choices are also meant to make us stronger..above those who haven't been tested the way we were....🦄