Lived Experience Forum

[unicorn86]

So where to start.. I just quit my job after almost 12months.. Im sad im upset im scared worried all those things.. We were really good friends before management changed hands and i become 2ic and her the manager.. Things changed not straight away over the 4months that management had changed i noticed i was getting nit picked at alot lots of lil things that wernt issues before have become major issues the way i was spoken too i felt incompetent of doing my job i felt inadequate i felt useless and everything i had done so many times before was being questioned.. Their is so much more but the more i think about it the more i want to cry because once again ive let someone make me feel like this and i didnt speak up and say hey.. I dont know what do or were to go im so upset that iam now unemployed once again..

[jem80]

I am sorry to hear that you have been on the receiving end of workplace bullying. It is cruel and emotionally draining. Take a break from work if you can. Try to see the good things that you accomplish in your life. Focus on the small things. Book a long appointment with the GP and discuss your problems so they may refer you onto a mental health professional.

[Appleblossom]

It is not acceptable to have to deal with bullying and extra sad to lose a friendship and job over it.  Yet it might be better to know that person was not really to be trusted, than to stay in a state of thrall and keep being put down. At least you are starting to see it as such and not turn the situation against yourself.  Maybe talk about it here and with doctor and see what you can do to get your life on track.

Take care Apple

[Tigga19]

Try to remind yourself that bullies are usuall cowards, and their poor behaviour is a reflection of themselves, not you.  No-one has the right to make you feel bad. 

[Quinn]

I'm leaving my workplace at the end of this month. I've had the same type of managers who would constantly call us (me especially) stupid, ugly, ret#rded, dumb, etc then single you out, embarrass you in front of other staff, scream at you, make you do pointless tasks, just generally treat you poorly no matter how much work you do. Simply because they knew they could get away with it.

I used to fill in all the overnights and be on call. I would stay formal and congratulationed people, be somewhat supportive for them, do everything extra. I'm not one who thinks you should be congratulated for everything you do yet there were times when I worked a 17 hour shift then someone who does say an extra 4 hours would get acknowledgement. There was also a time I had this manager who would bar me off things but openly allow other people to use or do the things I was banned off using/doing, or would try argue with me over something that happened 2 weeks ago without being about them.

I remember asking this guy who worked here for 14 years why he didn't try be a manager, he said it was because the managers were rude and underappreciative- I used to sulk because I was convinced I got the worst of it. Yet what they do to staff is how treat each other by 10 fold.

The workplace isn't that great, like it's great they're a manager good on them but there's no reason for a manager to abuse their power. Like the rest of staff the managers are easily replaceable and need to learn to get off their high horse.

[Quinn]

My workplace has this woman manager who specifically targets younger women, I don't know if it jealously but if they're quiet and young she immediately starts picking on them. I don't under the mentally where you wake up in the morning and think to yourself 'hmm, I going to bully this person today'.

[Tigga19]

I'm hearing you @Quinn. Ironically, the best boss I ever worked for was s woman, but sadly so was the worst.

Funny - I'm intending to hand in my resignation this week, as soon as I finish my current project. And guess what? It is 100% due to my bullying female boss.

[Former-Member]

I can totally relate to your experiences, folks. I worked for a large, male-dominated organisation (I'm female) for a long time and ended up leaving due to the cumulative effects of secondary trauma, unreasonable management, lack of support, harassment, and isolation. I had my condition accepted but not properly diagnosed or treated at the time.

Some ten years later, I've experienced long term poor management (unreasonable expectations, no communication, exclusion, devaluing, no support, scapegoating) which has reignited all the old wounds and resulted in a total breakdown. I felt it coming on for some time but had responsibilities and wanted to make sure I wouldn't cop further blame for anything that would fall through the cracks.

I've now been diagnosed with cPTSD, which it seems has been present and untreated for nearly 30 years. I've had to quit my job, haven't been able to work for nearly a year, and am not sure how I'll be able to return to my former profession at all. My original accepted claim, due to recent aggravation, has enabled me to get incapacity payments but I'm not sure how long that will last.

I've lost my job, career, several friends and relationships (been on my own supporting my child for 15 years now), and ability to enjoy my usual activities. Because I'm physically mobile and don't need someone to take care of my physical needs, my incapacity has only been rated at 10%. Funny, but it sure feels like a lot more!