Lived Experience Forum

[Quinn]

I'm working in age care now, I did some quick courses that were 14 weeks + 106 work hours apposed to the 6 to 18 months at TAFE also costing 2000+. However I have no friends and rarely talk to my family, my sister and I officially fell out and I rarely talked to my brother since I was like 15.

I'm the fatest I've ever been, I did originally go bike riding, skipping, swimming, and walking for a time but figured why? Since I have no one to impress or socialise with and I'm ugly. I can hardly stand talking to counsellors/psychologists in person and definitely feel like it would be a good time to off myself.

[TheVorticon]

Hi @Quinn,

Sorry to hear that you're feeling like things are going downhill. I firstly just wanted to say thanks for reaching out here - it can be a tough thing to do when feeling like that, but you and your experiences are worthwhile and deserve to be heard.

It seems like you're feeling pretty lonely and lacking connections with other people - is that right? I feel that way too at times, and I know a lot of other people can relate to those feelings as well. Feeling alone can definitely lead to thoughts of "why bother" and it's not a fun road to be on.

What it is about talking to counsellors or psychologists in person that you don't find helpful? The bike riding, swimming etc. is great, but that alone doesn't guarantee long term feeling better. Maybe a counsellor/psychologist could help bridge that gap between now and helping to build a life that includes the other sort of human connections that you're seeking?

I'm sorry to hear that you're having thoughts of suicide. Your life is important, and you can get back up the hill. It's important to reach out and get the help that you need and deserve. If you are at risk please consider contacting Lifeline (13 11 14) or Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), or any of your existing supports (GP, previous counsellor/psychologist).

Let us know how you're doing. I'm pretty new to the forums but there seems to be a great bunch of supportive people here who'll be happy to chat and get through some of those lonely and "why bother" feelings together.

Take care,

TheVorticon

[utopia]

@Quinn. I can relate to the pain you are feeling. Being alone and lonely is hard at the best of times. Add in depression and the negative self talk we give ourselves & it's painful.
I too am the biggest I've been. I have a few friends, but miss an old friend I used to have. That one person you could say anything too. Intellectual stimulating conversation that I don't get with my other friends.
When we feel this way - it is hard to get out of the negative thoughts and/or suicidal thoughts. But it is possible.
The thing that helped me the most, was doing things that I enjoy. Spending time in nature, reading, studying, etc.
This is where a psychologist can help, especially if you struggle to think of what you enjoy doing. They can help you work that out. Then when you start enjoying life more, more people will join in.
What do you enjoy? What did you enjoy when you were younger? What have you always wanted to try/learn?

[Former-Member]

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@Quinn wrote:


I'm the fatest I've ever been, I did originally go bike riding, skipping, swimming, and walking for a time but figured why? Since I have no one to impress or socialise with and I'm ugly. I can hardly stand talking to counsellors/psychologists in person and definitely feel like it would be a good time to off myself.

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Hello dear @Quinn

I second the wise and supportive posts above whole heartedly. The only thing I would add is to not look at bettering yourself for someone else - do these things "for you".  If you wish to be fitter and do exercise you enjoy - do it for you. Not to impress anyone else or worry what they think.  Do it for "you". That's the first step to feeling better.

Quinn the truth is "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". What really constitutes ugly? Is it the superficial outer layer of appearance or what is inside a persons mind and heart. To me a person can have the most beautiful face or body, but if they conceited, hard or unkind, in my eyes they are ugly. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

Dont put yourself down. There is plenty inside of Quinn to love and admire that is good, that is beautiful. Look not at your faults but at your strengths, your good qualities and then work on it. Those who matter will love you for it.