Our stories
- Mark Discussion as New
- Mark Discussion as Read
- Float this Discussion for Current User
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
21-06-2018 08:55 AM
21-06-2018 08:55 AM
Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
Hi everyone I'm new to the forums. I have been battling mental illness all my life. Ever since I was the age of 5, I started hearing voices. I see a man in a black suit, a woman in a black dress, and an evil version of myself inside and outside my head. When I was a kid they were friendly. But when I got into my teens they turned violent and agressive. They would say things like "You're Worthless". There were only a few times they would say nice things. For example,"You're Invincible". Also, when I turned 15, they showed me visions of me doing bad things(Seeing a movie play out in your head or it can literally be happening right in front of you). And sometimes I would have out of body experiences(I would be literally watching myself doing something completely random). I'm currently seeing a therapist. He told me I was diagnosed with psychosis. At first, I didn't know much about psychosis. Or that what I was going through was completely abnormal. He thinks it's Schizophrenia with a mood disorder. I'm currently waiting for my appointment with my doctor. I was hospitalized this month. I take different kinds of medication. If I even miss one dosage, I'll see all three of the figures or smell their scent. I'll even hear screaming coming from inside and outside my head. My symptoms and my energy are all over the place. One minute I feel energetic, then the next I'll feel intense exhaustion. Or even at the same time. Do these symptoms sound schizoaffective mixed type to you? Can you relate to this? And how do you cope with it?
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
22-06-2018 01:12 AM - edited 22-06-2018 04:07 AM
22-06-2018 01:12 AM - edited 22-06-2018 04:07 AM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
@Theuniquehero Hi Theuniquehero and welcome to the forums 🙂 I have schizoaffective disorder and bipolar and have a demon which is my main voice. I do not have any visual hallucinations like yourself mine tend to be voices and being completely out of control. In any event it is not a nice experience is it .... sounds to me that you have been through hell for some time.
Mine tends to be more manic although in the past I slept for about a year non stop (no kidding !) all day and all night with brief intervals of eating and necessities. I just slept like sleeping beauty weird (or sleeping pea I like to think of it :)). How do I cope with all the symptoms of having bp1 and schizo medication, medication, medication ... healthy lifestyle .... boring but true. No booze decent sleep pattern (where possible) but getting the medications right is vital and that took some time which is okay they are basically right now. You will find a welcoming and caring community here who will always be there when times are tough. Have a look around the various threads and join in when you feel ready if you havent do so already.
Nice talking with you and I hope to see you around the boards.
greenpea
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
25-06-2018 10:33 AM
25-06-2018 10:33 AM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
Hi @Theuniquehero,
Welcome to the forums. Thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like a daunting time, being unclear of your diagnosis, and waiting for your GP appointment. I hope the support of this community might help you to feel less alone through this.
A few weeks back, we a ran a 'Topic Tuesday' discussion on hearing voices. If you're interested you can have a read here. This thread, in which members share thier experience with psycosis, schizophrenia and achizoaffective disorder might be of interest too here.
We also have a fair bit of info and some blog written by people with a lived experience on our website that you can access here.
Hope this helps a bit!
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
27-06-2018 08:05 PM
27-06-2018 08:05 PM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
Hey there @Theuniquehero, I wanted to extend a warm welcome to you. I live with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. I used to be diagnosed as depressive type (the same as you) until I had my second manic episode which altered my diagnosis and caused me to have to take a mood stabiliser in order to keep well.
I hear four different voices, two male and two female and have really had a lot of chaos in my life due to it. Like you I could see and hear situations being played out like an out of body experience, even if they hadn't actually happened. I would hear disembodied voices and sounds which didn't make sense. I also had a lot of delusions in which I would become extremely paranoid.
These days things aren't as chaotic as they used to be. I am thankful of that really. I find things out of my routine or chaos in my life causes my psychotic symptoms to really amp up. I take medications (3 different antipsychotics, a mood stabiliser like I mentioned and an antidepressant). If I miss any of these for too long the chaos returns and I am again unstable.
There's a few here on the boards who live with schizoaffective disorder as well as others who live with psychosis. Again, welcome to the boards. Look forward to seeing you around!
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
08-07-2018 04:01 PM
08-07-2018 04:01 PM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
I have schizoaffective disorder I rarely hear voices but I have an episode most years
Stress usually brings on an episode
I find exercise is really good in helping me
I have an excellent psychiatrist
And a good psychologist
I moved closer to the seaside and I feel happier
@Theuniquehero wrote:Hi everyone I'm new to the forums. I have been battling mental illness all my life. Ever since I was the age of 5, I started hearing voices. I see a man in a black suit, a woman in a black dress, and an evil version of myself inside and outside my head. When I was a kid they were friendly. But when I got into my teens they turned violent and agressive. They would say things like "You're Worthless". There were only a few times they would say nice things. For example,"You're Invincible". Also, when I turned 15, they showed me visions of me doing bad things(Seeing a movie play out in your head or it can literally be happening right in front of you). And sometimes I would have out of body experiences(I would be literally watching myself doing something completely random). I'm currently seeing a therapist. He told me I was diagnosed with psychosis. At first, I didn't know much about psychosis. Or that what I was going through was completely abnormal. He thinks it's Schizophrenia with a mood disorder. I'm currently waiting for my appointment with my doctor. I was hospitalized this month. I take different kinds of medication. If I even miss one dosage, I'll see all three of the figures or smell their scent. I'll even hear screaming coming from inside and outside my head. My symptoms and my energy are all over the place. One minute I feel energetic, then the next I'll feel intense exhaustion. Or even at the same time. Do these symptoms sound schizoaffective mixed type to you? Can you relate to this? And how do you cope with it?
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
08-07-2018 08:09 PM
08-07-2018 08:09 PM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
Just wanted to say Hi and extend a warm welcome to the boards @freya.
How are things going for you?
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
09-07-2018 04:36 AM
09-07-2018 04:36 AM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
I know how you feel. I have schizoaffective disorder bi-polar type. We have a hard diagnosis but with medication, therapy, and support we can get through it. Know that you matter. I have often wondered why the voices are always so freaking negative. I have never had a positive auditory hallucination. They always tell me how worthless I am, or that I deserve to die. I have spoken to countless others who experience hallucinations and they all share my experience of negative hallucinations. WHY IS IT? I wish Psychiatry or Psychology could explain the reason behind the consistent negativity of these things. We are tortured by our voices, it is a cruel reality that we must live with. Let us as sufferers, suffer together as a community, let our voices become more positive through engagement in therapy and drug regimes.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
23-01-2020 12:56 AM
23-01-2020 12:56 AM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
Hi uniquehero my name is Poppy.
I relate to your post so much. I have been diagnosed with three mental illnesses and two major psychotic breakdowns. I see ghosts angels and spirits.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
07-02-2020 10:33 PM
07-02-2020 10:33 PM
Re: Schizoaffective Disorder-Depressive Type
i also have schizoaffective disorder - i have been sick for probably most of my life as well ... theres a lot of things i could have finished or done differently in my life, but i just guess life only goes one way forward.
sux tho being mentally ill 😞