Lived Experience Forum

[Mel3]

I have schizophrenia.  Diagnosed at age 36.  I'm now 45.  I am so sick and tired of old boyfriends and former friends re-inventing the past in light of my diagnosis.  I have people saying I was always crazy.  I was always sick.  For example I had a de-facto partner in my early 20's.  He was an unfaithful cheating man who slept with a number of other women.  That is why our relationship ended.  He is now telling people it ended because I was crazy all along etc.  The truth is I didn't start becoming unwell until I was about age 34.

Do other people have this experience?

[Outlanderali]

Hi @Mel3

Welcome to the forums! I'm glad you found us.

Thanks for sharing your story with us, it sounds like you have come to the right place! There will be plenty of people on here who relate to your story and experiences.

I agree with  you that often times people misinterpret what the signs of mental illness are, and are very quick to blame the illness for situations when they really have nothing to do with it. It must be incredibly frustrating!

Again welcome and I hope you find the uspport you need from us here at the forums.

Outlanderali 

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Mel3,

I can't think of anyone in particular who's had a similar issue to. But I think there's a few people who could relate to feeling as they, and their mental illness is a scapegoat in avoiding someone else's poor behaviour. 

I think @PeppiPatty and @Former-Member have had relationships in the past with ex-partners who did not take responsibility for their actions, and instread blamed it them. 

Also @Appleblossom and @kylee have written here about contextualising symptoms. @Mel3, I wonder if you can relate to what they have written about?

CherryBomb

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @Mel3

My name is PettyPAtti......I'm really really sorry that you are going through this terrible......blaming thing. It's unfair because you need to deal with your diagnosis and that is isolating in it'self. 

I know because my husband is diagnosed Chronic (meaning all the time) PAranoid Schizophrenia. His story , he allowed me to tell in the thread for @SadMum....

When I turned 34 years old, my Father used all my money in bullying me out of  my home and took advantage of my vulnerbable position in that my youngest son was very ill. He has recovered now and is actually staying with me while he tries to get off the green.......

Have you heard of the saying........'whatever doesnt ...........you makes you stronger?

Or the best revenge is to live well?

@Allessandra1992 had a wonderful saying but ca'nt remember it actually.

My husband reminds me of John Nash had a game theory that he won a nobel prize over....

The film made to tell his story is "A Beautiful Mind,' 

choose to be second best.

Everyone wants to be first...but..... only one can win but by chossing to be second best....makes you more able to deal with even just being in the room......

He wrote this over choosing girls..choose the second best

but Im going to also ask you........ to just be yourself....... over these silly billies who like being the most important by putting you down.

You don't need to make a big reaction or start up a ground breaking petition on what they said wrong about you.

You just be yourself and wait for the world to turn around. You never know, you might end up in Western Australia.....the other side of the universe.......

.when your in it....it hurts like no tomorrow but as time passes by....you start realising.....

It's hilarious because as time goes on.you get stronger and sometimes the makers up of stories don't.

I remember that I was working and the team leader on my work....she was a high school teacher by University trade and I have degrees on Visual Art and most of a Psychotherapy Degree, well, she found out that I have had an aquired brain injury in 1984 and a very ill son.she would only give me work as a cleaner for months because she just kept on saying that I have had an aquired brain injury. Yeah this is true.......pity she didn't notice what I achieved.....I can laugh about it now though......

the ol'.........You have problems and I don't story.....

Stay strong @Mel3. GEt to know yourself in your new way, My husband has been diagnosed for many years and his life just gets better. So can yours @Mel3 the more that you gett to know yourself.......

[Former-Member]

That's awful to do that to you. Guess its easier for most people to blame anyone else than be mature, responsible & honest. My sister used my 1st psych admission to stop me having Christmas etc at my place (declaring 'you wont cope'), they stopped letting me babysit, even after i had my own children. After my more recent admission (major depression, ptsd & complicated grief, after my daughter died), since then both my mother & sister started using the word 'delusional' at me for person gain at my expense, sometimes jokingly or if ever they don't agree with something i say. Its really hurtful to be shut down that way. -. I just don't open up to them any more. Fortunately i don't have any old boy friends in my life -. Be good if you could stay away from them, permanently, you don't need them. Anyway, its hard coming to terms with our 'mental health status' so go easy on yourself. Feel for you.

[Appleblossom]

Last week I had an experience where there was intimidation and exclusion going on for a while when we were supposed to be working in harmony.  The last straw for me was the pretence that it was all in my head, because the person knew some of my background.

It is important to stay clear about relationship issues. Be clear about your agenda and try not to be hurt by others' dismissive comments.  Easier said than done.

Quick answer is Yes, I have seen a few people do that sort of thing.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Former-Member

Thank you for openng up to write of this.

Mothers and sister. Golly, do they have ANY idea of the pain. 

Please always write my name is PappyPatti....oh I cannot remember how to spell my name......