Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

Hi My Husband are self- employed , and my husband has major Depression

Today we were out mowing some lawns when suddenly My Husband froze and could not go on , he want to quit , we sat under a tree for a little while and had morning tea , I thought this might help but it didn`t .

he was soo low and he said that his negative thinking builds up so much that he wants to give up everything(work). mainly the negative thoughts are about him and his work standards and about the business -- it builds up

so we had to pack up and come home and he slept for hours

Want can I do ???

[Eagle]

Hi @Shaz51

Sorry to hear what you and your partner are going through.

Is your husband currently getting treatment - psychologist / psychiatrist?

It's excellent that he can verbalise what is 'building up' and the impact that's having. The reason I ask about whether he's getting treatment or not is that some people find it helpful to regularly see a counsellor or psychologist to ensure things don't 'build up' and things can be jumped on earlier.

Have you noticed 'warning signs' in the past, which have indicated to you that he might be reaching this point?

I know you've been a member of the Forums for awhile, so I apologise if you have shared this information before.

[Shaz51]

Hi Eagle              thankyou for your message

,Last time we went to his psychologist was two weeks before christmas , we rang her up yesterday and we have an appoinment today , and he is on treatment but the Doctor is thinking of changing his medication because he said he is always tired and has no get up and go -- ( no app yet ), weary etc

I have noticed 'warning signs' in the past, which have indicated to me  that he might be reaching this point?

before I found it easier to help him out of it quicker, but now it seams a bit harder, i am glad that we can talk and i think if he gets rid of the tireness all the time would be better .

[NikNik]

Hi @Shaz51

Sorry to hear your husband isn't too well.
How did the appointment go?
It's great that you have such a open relationship with your husband.

Something I've head others here in the Forums try is, when their loved one is well, is to highlight some of the 'warning signs' that you notice to your loved one, which can sometimes help prevent the downward spiral.

Really glad to hear that your psychologist is being receptive and really hope the change of medication helps!

As you have probably noticed, there are many women here who care for their husband. @zipper even started their own thread purely for wives (maybe we need to get that back up and running again!)

There's an older discussion here initiated by @Kaz about her husband who lacked motivation (Kaz, do you have any tips for Shaz?)

More recently there was a discussion initiated by @clarity about her husband - with some great input by @tryintokeepsane

We're all here if you need us @Shaz51

[Shaz51]

Hi NikNik      , thankyou for your message                

      the appointment with our psychologist was ok,

      she has given him some homework to do , and she wants him to take more control in his life , also she said that if he continues  she told him that it is not worth having meetings anymore -- it is a waste of her time .

      Today we worked to 11am and had the rest of the day off, so worried about his father who is in hospital and not looking good

we have a doctor`s app in February about his medication

As you have probably noticed, there are many women here who care for their husband. @zipper even started their own thread purely for wives (maybe we need to get that back up and running again!)-- that will be a great idea

[Shaz51]

Hi BeHappy, Eagle       @NikNik 

He starts to get overwhelmed , starts doing thing faster which he starts making mistakes and than we have to spend money to repair the damage .

he can`t think clearly and it will take him more time to do something which usuall only takes half the time .

get very tired, tired when he wakes up ,

seems to go in a cycle,

5 months ago he took himself to hospital, which they kept him in for a week

they told him to take 3 months off but he could not do it

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Shaz51,

I'm also sorry to hear that hubby is not doing so well atm. 

I know you mentioned somewhere else, you were wanting to do things to look after you. What types of things are you going to do to give yourself a break? You've got a lot on your plate, supporting hubby, and taking care of business. I really hope that you get some time out for you. 

You mentioned:

---

He starts to get overwhelmed , starts doing thing faster which he starts making mistakes and than we have to spend money to repair the damage .

he can`t think clearly and it will take him more time to do something which usuall only takes half the time 

get very tired, tired when he wakes up ,

seems to go in a cycle,

5 months ago he took himself to hospital, which they kept him in for a week

they told him to take 3 months off but he could not do it

---

I wonder if its possible to alert your hubby to these warning signs before it spirals?

Stay well,

CherryBomb

[Shaz51]

hi CherryBomb                     thankyou

Don`t know how or what yet -----you were wanting to do things to look after you. What types of things are you going to do to give yourself a break? You've got a lot on your plate, supporting hubby, and taking care of business. I really hope that you get some time out for you. 

I wonder if its possible to alert your hubby to these warning signs before it spirals?-- yes I will be able too

[Shaz51]

Hello Carers '

Is you Partner Not coping, you are not alone my friend

This thread is for sharing and caring , if you like to have a talk , we are here for you xx