Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Hi @petrichor ,

I'm sorry the Mardi Gras brings up a lot of big feelings for you.

It seems like a connection has developed between the Mardi Gras and these 2 people, which I hope will shift in the future.

As for "I am not normal", I think many people have this running through their head at a point throughout their life. I know I certainly did. 

I used to hate myself because I felt I was not 'normal' - well not like everyone around me. The negative feelings this stirred up really played havoc on my mind. I used to tell people that 'I just want to be normal'.

Now, in retrospect, what IS NORMAL? If anything, I still don't think I am normal, but I can truly say I live a very satisfied life being 'abnormal' (if i can term it that way). I really no longer feel I need to be the same as everyone else, and I'm happy that I'm not!

I am what I am, and I'm more than grateful for that!

My heart goes out to you at this time @petrichor 

tyme

[petrichor]

Hi @tyme 

Thank you for your response. I’m glad you’ve found your way & that you’re happy. 

Perhaps normal isn’t the right word, but… everything is based on what others perceive as the norm. I just give up.

anyway I think this was supposed to be a happy thread, so Happy Mardi Gras everyone!

[eth]

Good morning all!  @RiverSeal @Paperdaisy @Clawde @Daisydreamer  @flybluebird @petrichor @TheVorticon @greenspace @RedHorse @Shaz51 @TideisTurning @girasole @Adge @cloudcore @Appleblossom @NatureLover @Rhye @tyme  and anyone else here ...

Best wishes to all here today, queer peers and allies, whether you're celebrating or not.  I live alone and my queer adult child and their family are interstate so it'll be a solo celebration here but even watching the festivities on the telly usually gets me up and dancing.   Hope you all feel a little stronger in your id knowing that this event does so much to debunk stigma.  Take care all! 

[Former-Member]

@petrichor I hear how hurtful those close relationships of yours are. I hope that in future you can come to be close to others who value you for who you are. I also had a stage of my life where the people around me would express their horrific perspectives on the community. With enough time though, I've come to be surrounded by others in the community and people who are supportive- which we all deserve.

Regarding the MG parade, the first few times I went, any sense I had of being not like others or of being a minority was washed away from me. Seeing the sheer number of other people there- thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of people!... I really hope that one day you might be able to experience a similar thing I did, of seeing that there are masses of people like you out there, supportive of you, and that you are part of a huge community. I hope that one day Mardi Gras can be a time of joy for you. You deserve that.

As for the question you asked @Rhye :

If you're keen to nominate a LGBTQIA+ trailblazer (or two, or more!) please feel free to add to the conversation by celebrating all that your trailblazers have achieved for you and/or the community!

I have to reflect on the spirit of people like Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera who were among those who started the Stonewall Riots in 1969, which then became a global inspiration for pride, as well as the first 1978 Mardi Gras in Sydney (which was so important for those of us in Australia) which was held around its anniversary.

It's quite painful to reflect that, despite a lot of progress for the rest of the community since, people like them (people of colour, gender diverse, etc.) who were so fundamental to modern global pride remain among the most marginalised today.

[petrichor]

Hi @Former-Member 

I’ve stayed offline for a few days but thank you for your message. One of my close relationships is my full time carer and I literally don’t think I’d survive without them. My psych says they might change would they find out, but I can’t run that risk. 

[Appleblossom]

@petrichor @Rhye @eth @Former-Member @tyme 

I saw this and thought of you all on this thread.  I really like it.  It is not the style of sacred music I have sung, and will not stop me from singing more, because the music I sing is deeply rooted in geo political history of civilisation and not just a style or 'religious'.  For me, it is about human yearning and belonging.

However I have always been interested and socialised among LGBT issues since I was 16, so quite a while now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEbyzZE5nzA 

I believe being human and authentic is complex and sometimes we need to look at all manner of things to understand who we are and where we should go ...

[Rhye]

Hi there @Appleblossom,

Thanks for stopping by, always love having a deep and meaningful with you 😊That doco was super interesting! I'm not much of a church goer, but have friends who have spent time in the pentecostal church where singing is a big part of the community (I've wondered if it was the connection to music that enticed them back). I read through the comments on this video and this one was a stand out for me: 

“We don’t need more Christian artists. We need more artists with their Christianity intact.” -Brian Welch, lead bassist for the band KORN.

I think christianity can be fraught for so many in the LGBTQIA+ community, but I wonder if there were more space for respect of difference if things might feel safer for those who feel a connection to religion. 

My neighbour invited me to join the local church choir, so this is a really timely discussion for me – how does one feel safe in a church when so much of who they are is challenged by its doctrine? Big questions, for which I don't have all the answers, but would love to hear your thoughts @Appleblossom.

[Appleblossom]

Glad you liked it @Rhye 

I have so many issues with so many things around sexuality and gender and religion.  I just liked it as it was upbeat, genuine and fresh and modern take .... without me going into all my family's pains and confusions.

I am 10 times bit and 10 times shy atm.

Am singing a major religious work atm but with a secular choir.

Flirting with a local church, ha ha, but that is almost what it is like.  I am respecting my feelings and making connections with a couple of highly studied and mature church belongers/ pastors ... but cautious as anything ... so hurt in the past ... I like that it has a female minister ... had hoped their music person would make contact as she promised ... but she is grandma land ... and not that interested in developing music in the church.  Just paid to go to a jazz concert with retired minister ... so the idealistic social justice aspects are big part of my thinking ...

Often churchy people spruik  ... as evangelism and growing and planting churches ... 

St Teresa taught me about interior castles... so protect yours ... and see what you think ...??

cheers Apple

[Rhye]

@Appleblossom I really appreciate your wisdom – I've googled St Teresa's Interior Castles and there is something about it that really resonates, not just with the idea of the 7 mansions, but also with what you said about protecting yours/mine...I think that's a really profound teaching for us all, especially those of us who've experienced trauma. 

Thank you for the share, and the very happiest of birthday wishes coming your way 🍏🌸

PS – love that you're going to a jazz concert with the retired minister! Keeping them on their toes 😊

[Kittykelly1976]

So wish I’d been in Sydney for this!!  We were in Sydney (Darlinghurst - so beautiful!) in the beginning of the year and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, felt so much more welcomed than I do in Melbourne!