Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[artistmom]

Hello all. I’m a new friend from America and am so happy to have found this carers forum from you all in Australia. No matter where we are from we all have one thing in common, we have a loved one suffering with mental illness. My husband and I frequently feel as though we are wandering in the wilderness with no support.

My story: our daughter is 25 and lives in New York City. My husband and I live outside Washington DC. Several months ago our daughter suffered from what in her mind was a career setback. She works freelance in the television industry. Halfway through a job she began to spiral and was plunged, by the time this job ended, into major depression. Questioning her career and everything else in her life with everything looking negative.

When she stopped answering our texts we were alarmed and begged her to come home. She was with us for about 6 weeks, was put on antidepressants and attended a 3 week outpatient program to get her through an immediate suicidal thoughts crisis. It was all group therapy which she felt did not help. She seemed to be doing better, no more suicidal thoughts, morebherskef, we thought meds were working, and she was offered a short term freelance job back in New York at a place she had worked before, low stress. We came back with her to offer her support during the first week back.  She tried but could not focus and concentrate due to the depression. She had to bail on the job after just 2 days, which devastated her, and plunged her back down to where she feels there is no hope and she’s never going to get out from under this. 

We are now trying to figure out if she can stay here or if we need to bring her back to DC. She had located a therapist here that she was to begin seeing next week and we really want her to start seeing that person here since this is where she lives. We don’t want her to have to give up her apartment and are hoping she can eventually resume her life in NY. We are trying to figure out next steps, keeping her safe, hoping her meds kick in. I know it can take up to 12 weeks for meds to work. 

Just hoping and praying every day that she will get her life, her confidence and her smile back. Our hearts are breaking. Thank you for listening. 

[greenpea]

@artistmom Hi artistmom and welcome to the forums. Yes we are like a big family here and the more the merrier I say :D. Sorry to hear about your daughter's mi problems affecting her work (very common).. If you have the time, have a look around the forums, you will find a multitude of threads from social to the more serious. Even with the time difference you should find someone online when you post. Hope to see you around. greenpea 🙂

[Robin71]

Hello 'mom', just wanted to say hello, to you and your husband (daughter too if she is accepting callers). My wife has depression and ocd, I recognise the statement that the therapy doesn't help, but like the meds, it's a much more indirect link to the illness than people are used to from physical illness.

  I also gave up full time work, mostly because I wanted to help her more, but also a setback. I was 44 and had not by any means had the career I, or my parents would have hoped for, considering where I started from. But really so few people do, they just pretend. I have learned not to beat myself up about it. And anyway 25 is plenty of time to find her way again.

  I can't really help you decide where the best place is. Or know how long this will be the dominant feature of all your lives. However it goes, it sounds like you've got a good team together. 

Hugs Robin