Lived Experience Forum

[littlemumma]

I a mum of 2 beautiful girls a 2 year old and a 6month old. I was diagnosed with post natal depression and anxiety when my second was 3 months old and am currently medicated for it . It all started with panic attacks everytime i had to leave the house by myself, (i am fine when i am with someone) my husband works 5 days a week and due to my youngest having a rough start , even when he is home he isnt much help with her. And my first is a very clingy mummy's girl. I feel as if im in over my head and i cant keep on top of things. I try my hardest to manage but i just cant. I feel like everyone is judging me because im not the same mum i use to be i feel like im letting my family down. Im a stay at home mum and i have just enrolled my 2 year old in daycare. So i can have a break and i feel so guilty for it. Sometimes i have good days or days where i suck it up and pretend im fine. But im not. I dont like talking to people so a psychologist is out of the question. My family are fairly supportive but i dont like leaning on them because i know they have their own problems and me having a bad day with kids doesn't seem important. I guess i just feel lost i dont want to be like this anymore i dont no how to fix it.

[Acacia]

Hi @littlemumma

Welcome to the Forums and congratulations on becoming a mum for the second time! Having a toddler and a baby is not an easy time and it’s certainly not uncommon to feel as though you’re not on top of things. I’m glad you’ve been able to share how you feel. I hope it’s helpful to put it out there.

It sounds like you’ve been doing a great job of looking after the girls, mostly on your own, and a break will be well and truly deserved. Guilt is a really normal feeling for anyone in a caring role, including Mums. Wanting to do the absolute best for your loved ones can leave you feeling that there’s always something more you could be doing, which can in turn lead to feelings of guilt.

There are a few other mums of young bubs here on the Forums such as @Hazattack, @Bluestar and @Blossom14; and others who have gone through their own journey of post natal depression in the past such as @Cherpieus, @MillyMolly, @Bec1985 and @KirstyKay. I wonder if those members can share any tips for getting through this difficult time? You might also like to take a look at Kirstykay’s story of recovery here.

Welcome once again @littlemumma and please keep posting.

[Outlanderali]

Hi @littlemumma

Have you ahd a chance to took at the post that @Acacia mentioned?

I thought this group of people might be good to talk to as well, you can see their posts here

Let us know how your going!

Thanks

Outlanderali

[Former-Member]

Do you have a friend who has children and who you can trust/visit with your children in tow? 

I visualised myself knocking on my friends door and getting a coolish response, but I pushed past the fear and went to visit. It was the best thing for me at the time.  She had wondered what I had been doing etc and we chatted and drank tea for hours.

It didn't make the depression go away, but at least I had someone who I could laugh and cry with.