Lived Experience Forum

[Chris]

So what else is new! 99 Per cent of the time im like this. I feel well and truly stuck. Unable to move forward. Ready to walk away from everyone and everything. Feeling toxic, contaminated, angry, ready to explode. Not much else to say really.

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Chris

Things sounds really tense right now, like you're bursting at the seams. 

What's happened today? 

From what you've written elsewhere on here, you've got A LOT on your plate, so it's understandable that you're feeling ready to explode - it's like you're already carrying the load that only needs one more straw to break the camel's back...

Chris, I worry when i hear things like you're "ready to walk away from everyone and everything." That can be taken to mean many things, but it seems to me that you're feeling very exhausted and fed up. Is that a fair observation?

CherryBomb

[Chris]

Just so very stressed.lots of small things hapening at home, on top of everything else. Back to just wanting to shut everyone out. Group very confronting. Its right at the pointy end. My sensitivities. Rejection, criticism and getting close to people, family. I again feel like dropping out from this group, but i know its because it is so close to home.

I even felt upset when my psychologist said i had been doing groups for  a long time. I felt like she was saying i shouldnt need to do any more. Made an appointment  with her that i thought was and she said was two weeks time but it is actually four weeks time. I feel like she is giving up on me. I know i am super sensitive  right now, and feeling a bit impulsive. (Pack my car and take off away from everyone)  not that that would solve anything.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Chris

You sound like you are really understanding where all of those 'feelings' are come from. The want to run away and avoid everything, for me when i want to run away its usally because  i want to avoid the pain... I think for me though i've had to learn to kind of stand still with those feelings, like there is a snake close by to me and instead of running its better to stay still and wait for it to move on. 

I also often think that other people are thinking negative things, and work myself up to the point that i'm SURE, im Positive/certain that someone is angry with me/hates me/annoyed with me... but the few times i've actually been able to suss things out its not acutally been the case or to a far lesser degree than i had imagined (mostly stuff with my psychologist lol - would never be brave enough to ask someone in 'real life').

Hold on, you are in the middle of something really tough, but you never know what might come out of the other side, its ok to feel like running, and for those things to be triggering, by sticking it out you might be able to lessen them somewhat and challenge them inside yourself.

Good luck,

LJ

[BlueBay]

Hi @Chris

I'm sorry I haven't read your other story, what section is it in. I am quite new on here and still finding my way around this forum.

I so understand what you're saying.  Running away, giving up on everything, not wanting to talk to anyone - I get that so much. Because that's what I want to do.

Is it possible for you to call your psychologist and ask for an urgent appointment. Even if you can be put on a cancellation list so if someone cancels they can call you.  Four weeks is too long to wait when there are lots of thngs going on.  Do you have a close friend you can call to talk to?

@ChrisI hope you can stay on here and chat to us. 

Pls take care,

[Chris]

Yes your right lisajane, i dont want to feel the pain. I am slowly learning to sit with the emotions, and its a case of doing it over and over again, and for longer. I just seem to go through this on such a regular basis,  but i guess thats the nature of therapy , and life hapening.

[Chris]

Hi sadgirl

Theres been alot hapen in my life the last few months. My sister passed away of pancreatic cancer in england. Her funeral was only two weeks ago. Its been very complicated,  and stressful. Plus i had a cancer scare myself, pre cancerious cells were found. Two ops, the last being last friday. My husband had three skin cancers removed off his leg. He now has another infection.. my son had a workplace accident and injured his hand. I think i must have killed a China man  (ha ha)

So i guess im a bit run down with everything. A new group therapy is proving to be a big challenge. I want to run in the oposite direction. I feel overwhelmed by everything.just want to pack my bags and go away from everyone and everything. Only problem is you cant run from yourself. It doesnt work! Ive tried it a few times before.

[Former-Member]

thanks for sharing, makes me realise i'm not so alone. Esp the run away impulse that comes with high stress.