Lived Experience Forum

[Leezy]

I'm struggling to find a reason to live anymore.

My entire life has been a fight, that's all I seem to do but I have had enough. I'm beyond exhausted.

How do you find a reason to live?

[NikNik]

Hi @Leezy

I'm so sorry to read that you're exhausted and struggling at the moment. I'm really glad that you had the courage to post here though.

Unfortunately many of us here have reached that low point, there doesn't seem to be any options, or that we've exhausted all options. But I want to offer you hope by saying, many here have got through that low.

While I'm sure members here will offer their own experiences and what has helped them, unfortunately we're not a crisis service. But there are some great organisations who you can talk to now, if you're not feeling safe -

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or crisis chat

Suicide call back: 1300 659 476 or online counselling

I want to make sure you're safe, so I have dropped you a quick email.

Take care,

Nik

[Mazarita]

Hi @Leezy and welcome to the forum.

I don't know what's been going on for you but have had feelings at times like you describe. I don't have an easy answer to such a big question. But I can tell you one of the things that keeps me going: I live for the people who would be affected by my not being around. For me that is mainly my partner, my mum and some friends. I'm not in contact with these people all the time. In fact my mother and my oldest friends are a long distance from me. But I know it would be painful for these people if I wasn't here. Do you have people like that in your life? Does it help you to think of them kindly when you are feeling down?

Since you sound like you might be at a crisis point, it might also be helpful for you to speak to someone in person about this. Lifeline runs a phone line you can reach on 13 11 14. It is open 24 hours a day.

Aside from that, it would be good to hear more about what's been happening for you over time and what's happening now to bring you to where you are. Kind wishes. 

[Appleblossom]

I hear you are tired of struggilng.  Sharing does help sometimes.  Noticing things out in nature helps me.

Welcome to the forums.  Share as much or as little as you like. 

[Leezy]

Thank you for your responses.

I have PTSD. I've been struggling with it for over 2 years now and nothing helps. I've reached a point where I am so tired of fighting. Every time I think I'm managing to cope with something, the rug gets pulled out from under me. It's just one thing after another. I'm over it and just want it all to end.

[supernova]

Hi @Leezy,

Welcome to the Forums. We’re really glad you’ve found us, and we hope you you can feel at home here. It sounds like you feel really fed up with trying to get by day-to-day, and that’s okay. That’s what the Forums are for, for connecting with others and sharing how feel, even if how we feel is fed up, stuck, frustrated and hopeless, looking for a reason to keep going. Thank you for your courage to reach out and tell us how you’re going.

PTSD is so hard, it’s not something we ask for, and not something that is just easily forgotten. We have to live with the fallout of things that have happened to us, and what could be more frustrating than bearing the weight of something we didn’t choose for ourselves. I'm not sure if you've had a look around the Forums much yet, but if you search for PTSD in the search bar, there are a lot of great threads from our members about some of their experiences with PTSD. @Keith1292 wrote a poem about PTSD a little while ago that you might find interesting.  

I hope you can find some support and solace here on the Forums. If you’re feeling unsafe today and need someone to talk to, please don't forget that you always reach out to Lifeline (13 11 14 or crisis chat) or Suicide Call Back Services (1300 659 476 or online counselling) for a chat. 

Take care of yourself,
supernova.

[Appleblossom]

Glad you responded @Leezy.

Many of us on the forum have dealt with "ending it all" thoughts and feelings.  I hope you find some support reading the stories and discussions and in posting yourself. 

You can discuss most things within guideline forums and the mods try and be helpful.