Lived Experience Forum

[Robati]

Well hi all , I made contact with my ex partner think that's the right term now ,, this mornin an we spoke for jus over an hour . I told her that I owed it to her an the kids to ask for a chance to try an fix myself up ? 20years together an a lot of arguments an break ups we still try to hang on ! She said she needs a break an will give 6 months for myself to fix myself so I guess that's a positive .she also like me is scared an doesn't want the kids growing up without a father . Well I finally went today to see a GP who has referred me to a psychologist but it seems il hav to wait till 27th March , GP has also prescribed me with depression tablets or something which I will take 1 a day. I'm happy an I'm not , I do want to change this time as I don't want my family to go thru this again ! My ex has said she will not drink alcohol or do anything silly in this time as she wants me to fix myself . One step at a time now ! I hate myself for letting this mentality that I hav get to this stage . Must stay positive now , hope everyone is doing ok , cheers .

[Robati]

Hi all , jus on my smoko break at work , feeling a lot worse today , pills I was given I won't be taking anymore it actually made me feel sick , an I had less sleep. My ex tex me early mornin from overseas asking if I am gona support the kids financially ? Because she tex from her mums number I called there home number instead , I told her I'm not sure yet cause I still feel shocked as to where I am now . She goes ok then bye ! Way things are at the moment I can pretty much guarantee that I won't be seeing my kids for at least 6months.i hav always supported them an feel like she needs to appreciate having my support for the kids . I'm hoping that if I don't support them at all she will realise how hard will be for the kids an herself ? Jus feeling lost again , an thought il spill it out , cheers

[Former-Member]

Hi @Robati

It sounds like today has been a tough one and I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling worse. I'm glad that you have the forum to express how you're feeling however and it enables you to reach out on the hard days. I hope that you rest well this evening and get a good sleep.

Shel49

[AlgebraicFury]

Hi @Robati, I'm sorry to read that you aren't doing so well. It is a very difficult situation that you are in at the moment. I expect you would be feeling uncertain about the future, perhaps anger towards your ex-partner and devastated from losing your kids. Talking about this situation on these forums, with your GP, and with a psychologist eventually, will help ease the pain at least a little.

If the antidepressants that you were prescribed are making you feel unwell then I would recommend going back to your GP and asking for a different antidepressant. The side effects vary a lot between different antidepressants, and I'm sure there would be one that is suitable.

It's very sad that you may not see your kids for 6 months. But, it would give you a chance to work on yourself, if necessary, so that you are in the best state mentally for your kids. Perhaps it may be beneficial to focus mainly on what is best for your kids at the moment.

Unfortunately, sometimes we need a huge shakeup in order to realise that we have a problem. This was the case for me, when after around 4 years into our relationship my partner left with my baby boy. My moods had become so erratic and scary, yet I was unable to see that I had a problem until they left me. Thankfully I was able to find help, and today I'm doing quite well thanks mainly to medication and also to psychological therapy.

Things might feel pretty ordinary for a while, however if you put in the effort to deal with any issues then you will feel better.

Take care, AF

[Robati]

Hi everyone @AlgebraicFury thanks for your comments yes I realise I am abit upset at my ex partner but I do realise it was a lot of my own mentality that lead to this but she has also admitted she was also at fault as we both resented each other which lead to these arguments an where we are at now , I also like what you said about a good shake up ! As I now feel if I can't or don't make an effort to change I'm better off letting them hav a good life without me .@AlgebraicFury thanks for the encouragement to do what's best for my kids . @Former-Member thanks for your comment yes I did rest up well , an grateful I found this forum as it does help a lot when your mind decides to wander ! Hoping to pop round GP after work an let him know about these antidepressant pills ? They really threw me back , hoping I won't need them anyway ? Hard to say right now , hav a good day to all cheers .