Lived Experience Forum

[MinnieMouse]

Sorry if I'm adding on to someone’s post but I can’t figure out how to start a new one.  I’m sitting in front of my computer crying because I don’t know how to start a new discussion.  This is all it takes for me to cry lately.  I've been on mild anti depressions for over a year now and just feels like I have no idea what it is to feel normal.  I’m always crying and disgusted with myself with how over weight I am.  I started taking anti depressions when everything was getting to much with my mum having breast cancer, she has been cleared for almost a year now but I feel worse than when I started.  I hate myself for what I've become.  I've tried all diets and just can’t seem to stick to anything before I’m down in the dumps again.  Sorry I know this is not a big problem and it’s a choice I make every day to put the food in my mouth but I just don’t know what else to do.  I can’t stop and I’m afraid that I’m going to get to a point where I just don’t want to anymore.

[Shimmer]

Hi @MinnieMouse

Welcome to the Forums! I'm Shimmer, one of the moderators around here. I'm really glad you've found us

Lots of people find it tricky to get their heads around posting on the Forums, don't worry! I moved your post so that it is a new discussion 🙂 We moderators are always here to help - we see all posts as they go up and you can mention people specifically in a post by typing @ and then their name.

I'm sorry to hear how down you're feeling right now! Sounds like you're being really hard on yourself, especially about your eating patterns and weight. You're not alone in using comfort food as a way of coping with distress, it's quite common. It's understandable given the way you've been feeling, and the recent stresses you've experienced, including your mum's health concerns. Self-criticism for eating to cope with difficult feelings often triggers more distress, then further eating, fuelling a downward spiral. Have you noticed this pattern in yourself @MinnieMouse?

There are many ways you can break it. We had a discussion about recovering from disordered eating recently here if you're interested. Another thing that I think is really important is self-compassion

We're here for you @MinnieMouse, feel free to share more of your story.

Take care,

Shimmer

[NikNik]

Hi @MinnieMouse

As Shimmer said, it's great you found us.

Firstly, I'm so happy to read your mum is doing well now. Though I'm sorry to hear that things have just continued to get worse for you.

It sounds like a bit of a continuous roundabout that you're on and it's great that you're looking for ways to get off the round about.

You mentioned you're on anti depressants, but are you seeing any professionals for counselling?

The prospect of losing a parent, the stress associated with that and also just your life being tipped upside down, are all factors that can cause this cycle.

It can be hard to get off the round about - even if all the contributing factors (like your mum getting well) reduce.

Would you consider reaching out to a psychologist or a form of help you're comfortable with?