Lived Experience Forum

[Selene]

This is my first post and I hope it is in the right spot. 

I've suffered from or with depression for over 10 years. It came on after major surgery that saved my life. I have times that I can't get out of bed. It has cost me several good jobs and a couple of relationships. I'm not good at all on the anti depressants and I'm not taking any at the moment. I have been seeing a psychologist over the past 6 months but that is about to finish and it hasn't done enough. I have a part time job i've managed to keep for 5 years but I'm starting to turn up just a little late and I'm worried I'm going to ruin that. I want to know how people has helped themselves to get out of bed and do something each day. I realise that I can make lists  of things to do and sometimes that helps but it's not at the moment. I also don't take very good care of myself phsyically. I don't eat properly even though I could. I also don't shower every day. Any ideas or hints to help me motivate myself would be greatly appreciated.

I'm worried that the progress I have made with the psychologist is slipping away. 

[utopia]

Hi @Selene. I'm about to reenter the workforce after being off with depression and anxiety.
There's a few things you do need:
* A sleeping routine - bed at a certain time - up at a certain time - to make sure you get enough sleep - whixh we need for our depression.
* Support - we can't do it alone. Good friends or family to talk to. Or a psychologist. Is there a work mate that you can talk to
* Planning - can you get your work clothes ready the night before. Can you set the alarm at the right time to have a quick shower and eat breakfast.
* Medications - maybe an anti depressant - maybe a mood stabaliser. Maybe your dose wasn't right for you or the medication wasn't right.
*Enjoy time - what do you do when not at work? Exercise helps with our moods - even if you can only manage a short walk - it will help. Do you belong to any clubs? Arts sport craft? What are your hobbies? Could you write a journal - put your moods and feelings in there - get it out on paper.
*Grateful - can you try and wake up every morning and think of something that your grateful for - it could be, glad I have bread to make toast for dinner or it might be, I had a restful sleep.
Sometimes just by changing a few words, things can look better.
You have held the job for a while. They obviously like you w I rk - otherwise you wouldn't be there.
Try and get up a bit earlier - think about the warm shower waiting for you. Put a touch of make up and bliw dry your hair. It might make you feel better and more in the mood for work.
If none of this seems to help it may be time to go back to your gp and ask fir a referral to a psychiatrist and get re-evaluated and check what medicine or therapy he thinks might work well with you.
Never give up. There is a solution out there

[pip]

Dear Selene. You said you realized about making lists, obviously at this time, that won't work for you. Your motivation for getting out of bed. What would you like to do once you have gotten up? Is your first thought a nice warm shower, cuppa, breakfast. Or are you one of these who reads the 'funnies' in the newspaper. I personally like a cuppa firstly, then shower, then brekkie. I also try rewarding myself with watching a bit of t.v. Not necessarily the news, but maybe the children's programs. I find the news can be extremely upsetting. someone's been mugged/raped. Their house has been burnt. Perhaps get up a bit earlier so you can still take things slowly till you get used to change in routine. With your part-time job, are you alone with your job, or are you part of a team. If you are part of a team, are your team members understanding? If they are, perhaps explain that these cold mornings make getting up harder. If you are late, tell them you overslept, or the alarm failed to work/wake you. Try to keep it light and normal. Perhaps as utopia suggested see your Dr about adjusting/changing AD's, that may be where you need to start. Ignore the 'think positive' rubbish, people who say that, mean well, but they have no idea, if asked, how? My ex FIL almost tried to live by that, his 'think positive' attitude has lost him many friends who simply got fed-up with that inane comment.

[Acacia]

Hello @Selene and welcome!

It can be difficult when we need to step away from a support that has been there for a little while, as you’re doing with your psychologist. When you say it hasn’t done enough, what has the treatment helped with? And what else would you have liked to have gotten out of it?

@utopia and @pip have offered some great suggestions, and as utopia says, if you’ve been at your job for five years, you must be doing it well.

@Cazchri has also been having some trouble with motivation lately and has started a great discussion here where members can share their daily goals (I know you’ve said lists don’t work for you, but some of the other insights might be interesting); and RG01 has just now posted a nice tip here about positive affirmations.

Has anything else worked in the past to keep you motivated?

Welcome once again Selene. I look forward to hearing how things go.

[Selene]

Thank you! A lot of what you have written I have tried in the past but forgotten again. 

I have started a journal and am finding that really helpful. I will speak to my pschologist and gp about trying an anti depressant or a mood stabiliser - the time might be right this time!

I think exercise would be good too, I am going to try going for a walk more regularly.

Practising gratitude is an excellent idea too!!

Smartening myself up a bit is a great idea too. I have been trying to choose nicer clothes from my wardrobe and make an effort to look nice.

Thank you again and I am taking some steps out of my depressed zone - little ones but still it is all about the journey!!

[Selene]

Thanks pip - I like to have brekkie then hopefully a shower. I too avoid the news. I prefer a book! I am trying to set an alarm for the mornings to help build a routine. 

I am glad you said about the 'think positive' rubbish! That made me smile. I am an optimistic kind of person but also a realist.  Some of what is said to me is so bland and nothing it is frustrating. Particularly as it is often delivered with the 'sincere, deep, meaningful look'. Ugh!

[Selene]

Thanks Acacia for the welcome and the other places to look for chats that are relevant to me. 

I have had 10 appointments with the psychologist and what he has helped with has been more immediate issues - my romantic relationship, some family issues. He has also helped me to see the cycle I go through more clearly and to start to break some of those patterns. I think I have achieved a lot with him but I wanted more!!

If I can get up and keep away from my computer and the games it contains I tend to do more in a day. It is good for me to be out of the house and in nature as well. Lucky I live near some beautiful forests and beaches. I haven't been able to do much of it as my car is unreliable but I will have a better one soon and I'm hoping that will help me too.

[Fairy001]

I've read reply. Not sure how it's helps . I've watched telly for this forum should help mental health . It's not . Expert advice is something we pay for . Not online . Not from from others who r unhappy !! Sorry I tried

[Former-Member]

Hi @Fairy001,

You sound frustrated but it is not clear to me what has annoyed you here on the forum. As far as I can see this is your first post?

There are many things that can help us through mental illness and peer support such as on a forum like this has been shown to be an effective part of treatment.

Everyone here is an expert on their own lives and their own mental health condition.

Feel free to participate or not.

Kind regards,

Frog

[Selene]

Hi @Fairy001

I'm not sure exactly what you are referring to. I find that hearing other peoples ideas and experiences helps me clarify my own needs and I often read a different idea or an approach that will make me look at my experiences and frustrations differently and sometimes that is all it take to lead to a breakthrough.

I think persistance with a good idea is worth more than giving 10 a half hearted try!!!

Thanks @Former-Member for your comments too. I agree with them and you are 100% right about making a choice with participation or not. It was a big step for me to post here and I am grateful for the comments and the support they have offered me.

Cheers 

Selene