Lived Experience Forum

[Justme62]

I had complex ptsd for 25 yrs. Getting well has been so hard. But i trully think im all good. After all has happened i realize i dont know anyone anymore. Iv tried to make friends. To no avail. Seems im strange. And will i always be weird now? Where does one go after the storm?

[Justme62]

Heres a Q. If at 12 your diagnosed with manic depression. Which i now know to be bipolor disorder. And no one ever told you. Noone ever mentioned it despite said person going missing doing drugs breaking the law. Etc etc . Can this lead to ptsd. And after you get a grip on having had ptsd. Are you still bipolar?

[Pebbles]

Hi @Justme62

Thank you for your posts today and welcome to the forums 🙂

It seems as though you are questioning whether it is possible for PTSD and Bipolar to coexist? The answer is yes it is a possibility, however we aren't in a position to be able to diagnose. Are you aware of the path to take in order to obtain a diagnosis? 

Can you tell us more about no one telling you about the first diagnosis? Have I got that right?

It sounds like you have experienced some things in life which have been tough. Thank you for sharing that with us. I hope you can find some insight and support for yourself here on the forums.

Please let us know if anything is unclear or if you have any questions, we're always happy to help 🙂

Pebbles.

[Justme62]

Thanks so much for answering me. To answer your Q yes i was 12 had run away again and sent to a home. Whilst there i was sent to a phyiatrist. Who told my parents i had manic depression. I was never told this information. It was not until 30 or so yrs later after remembering who they were and reuniting that mum let it slip. I did try to get help over the yrs and at 35 was diagnoised with complex ptsd.I tried for yrs to get help but being poor means handouts from a system that does not understand mi at all. Without money. I now live in a tiny town. No triggers here. Only lonely and would love a proper diagnosis and help getting on with living and feel happy without acting like a child. Or feeling so down my brain tells me im worthless and should put myself down. Uug i hate that. I feel like all my friends are in uni. And im still in primary school repeating the same class over an over.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Justme62

Sounds as though things are really hard in some ways, but you've recognised that you've come a long way in dealing with the cptsd. I'm struggling with cptsd and cant seem to move it.

Tiny towns can be good for some things but very isolating i have found. I have lived in small towns but moved to a regional centre a few years ago to access more support and help for my son and myself. But still find it hard to make friends or get out socially. Are there any groups/hobby's/interests that would help you to get out and meet people? 

Also understanding the limited services that are available in small towns and country areas! on top of the public system which can only do so much. I keep being reminded to do all the basics at the moment (also feeling very low and depressed).  eat well, drink water, and do soemthing nice each day that i like.. even if its just enjoying a cup of tea at the moment.

hope you find the forums helpful,

lj

[Justme62]

Hi Lisa. Yea lonely is hard. But on a plus side iv had 5 yrs of mellow. I made friends with all the wildlife took a thousand photoes. The only battle i faced was me. Somedays id loose some i would not. But it didn't matter. It was me flogging myself. I soon worked out. But iv fought really hard to be this well. Now i want to go further and do some things socialy. But theres me telling me . Don't do it. You'll just act like an idiot. Plus where i live is really clicky. One wrong word and you, your children and their children will forever be on the coat. So till i logged on here iv been on my pat. But it's a new year and I'll be working on this area. Gulp. I might hang here a while a read some more. I so hope this might be a good platform to begin. The road is long lol😆

[utopia]

@Justme62. I too live in a small town. And I developed ptsd after a workplace incident. From what I know & I'm no expert - ptsd is caused by trauma. Knowing what that trauma was - means we can then learn how to deal with it's effects. It sounds like you have done this. Well done. It does take hard work.
It sounds like photography is a passion of yours. Do you ever enter your photographs in local art competitions? That could be a wonderfully hobby and an interesting way of meeting people.
You like wildlife? What about other animals? Could you volunteer at an animal shelter? If you like dogs - maybe you could offer to walk a neighbours dog for them.
Try not to worry about what some people in town think. The majority just do what everyone else does. Stand out. Be you. There are a few of us in country towns all over this country, who are learning to embrace who we are. And guess what? There are people out there who like us.

[Justme62]

Utopia iv filled two laptops with wildlife. And i now live on a property with a few acres. You have guessed my plan. Teehee😆 Next wires course im in from there with my paddocks i want to foster anything that needs my love. Iv recently lost my fur babies. Dang that hurt. But onward i had never even patted a dog really. Animals so teach But the love of a wild thing or fur baby.OMG just wow. Iv have thought of showing my photos maybe i will. Atm i have no network so i have to drive to the main highway to log on. Seems my country town is still of the grid. Coowee lol.

[utopia]

@Justme62. I knew it!!!! Another future wildlife rescuer. How brilliant that you have the land to be able to do this.
Do you know when the next WIRES course is?
Once people start knowing you and your property - you will meet a lot of similar people who love our native animals.
My favourite animal is the wombat. And of course I love my Cockies.
In my area we see a lot of echidnas, wombats, wallabies, kangaroos, koalas, possums, & sugar gliders. Then there are the micro bats and other flying natives.
Do you have a country show? Like the Melbourne show.
Our country show has photography competition. That might be a good place to 'dip your toes in the water'.
It sounds like you have some wonderful plans& talent.
I look forward to hearing more as your journey continues.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Justme62 I found your post interesting because I am sort-of in a similar position. I'm only really just starting to sort out my CPTSD as one of the trauma-related events only ended in 2015. However, I told my new psychologist just last week that I feel despairing in that I am moving into middle age without having had any of the typical experiences of early adulthood. To me, this makes it really difficult to know what "getting better" would look like because obviously I can't jump in a time machine and go through the entire developmental stage that I have missed. So...I don't know the answer, but I'm encouraged that I'm not the only one asking this question 

As to whether you will always be weird...one of the most positive things that happened in my life in the past few years is that I figured out some of my issues which had always been put down to mental illness are actually due to me having Asperger's syndrome. I figured this out myself and then paid to get a formal assessment (because, you know, no one believes you unless an "expert" has made the diagnosis ). I have no idea whether you will always be weird...but I know that I will be - and that's ok. Figuring out that I had Asperger's opened up a new world to me. In the autism community there is a lot of talk about "finding your tribe." That has really been my experience - in the neurotypical world I will always be seen as weird, but I now know that there are other people out there who are much more like me. So yeah, as I said, I have no idea whether you will always be weird...but I do know that it is ok to be weird