Lived Experience Forum

[Gypsyrose]

I'm 34 years old and just been diagnosed with bi polar type 2.

I have always had issues and looking back the warning signs were there for years I just ignored them.
Since high school I had been ignoring the fact that something was very wrong. I never really made friends, found it hard to get motivated all the classic signs. I just ignored them and struggled on.
I felt that I could talk to my family as they are the kind of 'get over it everyone gets sad' I later found out my mother had post natal depression and my father told her that it wasn't a real illness and to get over it.
Digging further I have found that mental illness runs in both sides of the family and numerous relatives have killed themselves after major bouts of depression.
Around Christmas time last year I found my self in a major depression. I was so depressed I could function. I was angry irritable and I was in a hole of blackness. I had been taking anti depressants and I was seeing a physiologist for anxiety . I finally admitted I need more help and talk to my GP. I got a referral to a physiatrist and I was diagnosed.
It's been 6 months now and will we are still tweaking my meds I'm am feeling a lot better.

[Mazarita]

Hi and welcome to the forum, @Gypsyrose. 🙂

It seems you have already taken great steps. Good on you for looking after yourself! I share a lot of common experiences with you (in my 50s): bipolar diagnosis after years of treatment for anxiety and depression, difficulty making friends as a child, mental illness showing up in other parts of the family. Like you, meds for bipolar have worked better for me than an anti-depressant alone. Sending well wishes and looking forward to hearing more of your story as you wish to share.

[suzanne]

Hi @Gypsyrose, welcome to the Forums.  I'm glad that you found us and had the courage to share your story.  It's so hard to admit that there might be a real problem isn't it?  I reckon that this line 'I just ignored them and struggled on' is exactly what lots of other members have done too.  We do it until we can't ignore it anymore.  So great to hear that after reaching that point you received the care you needed and are feeling better. 

I hope you have time to wander around the Forum.  There are lots of lovely supportive people here with interesting stories to tell.  Speaking of which, check out a recent post here by @Former-Member who shared quite a similar experience.  Hope to 'see' you around 🙂

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Gypsyrose

Welcome to the Forums!

It sounds like you've been a tough and long road. I'm glad that you eventually opened up to your GP. I imagine this could have been difficult given that you were raised with messages like 'just get over it' and that mental illness isn't real. I think it takes tremendous strength to face up to these messages and dig deeper despite things we may have been told. How is your family now that you are getting treatment? Are they supportive?

There's a few members who you might like to connect with like @squeakinghiccup has also just recently started a thread about her journey to wellness, an @justanother has also written about her experiences with getting well here. Perhaps @squeakinghiccup and @justanother can add to this discussion?

What strikes me as similar with all your stories is that you all went some time feeling unwell, and nearly reached a breaking point before reaching out for help. For those that might be reading this who might be going through something similar, can I ask what piece of advice would you give them? 

CherryBomb

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member, welcome to the forum. 

Thanks for opening up about your life struggles with us here. From what you describe, I don't think you are a hypochondriac. Given your hesitation about medications, one thing that occurs to me is that you may find it valuable at this time to see a psychologist. They will not prescribe medication but are likely to give you some personal tools and techniques to help deal with the ups and downs you are describing. You would also be able to talk to a psychologist in more depth about your issues than would normally be possible with a GP. All Australians are entitled to 6-10 sessions per year with a psychologist on a medicare rebate, with a referral from a GP. The first step in this process would be to see your GP and ask specifically to see a psychologist on a 'Mental Health Care Plan'. Whether or not you choose to see any doctors or psychologists about your struggles, you've come to a good place here to share your struggles with people who have a fair bit of understanding from our own lived experience with mental health issues. Best wishes to you and I look forward to hearing more about how you are going.

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Mazarita

[Mazarita]

Hi again @Former-Member,

Sorry the psychologist didn't work out for you. I think it can be important to have a good 'click' and that may mean trying more than one. Excuse my ignorance but what is an rsp?

If you wish to clarify whether you are suffering from bipolar, that would mean seeing a psychiatrist. Again your GP is the first port of call. Psychiatrists do tend to have a focus on medication though. This is not necessarily a bad thing. I've been taking medications for 20 years and feel they have (mostly) helped me. But it's true there can be side effects, and there can also be mood instability while starting, changing or stopping meds. These things are a real part of medication treatments in my experience but, for me, the benefits outweigh the negatives.

I know from my own experience (with bipolar) how wearing it can be to feel yourself unreliable in your coping abilities. I hope some other members find your post and have something rewarding to offer you. Again, wishing you well. 

[Former-Member]

hello
Sorry @Mazarita, rsp is short for relationship! I love short hand typing!

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member,

I think it's true that there is a lot of stigma about mental illness. Also that there is a lot of variation within the label 'mental illness' and in individual's responses to hearing about it. Your thought about keeping your struggles in that area close to your chest is reasonable. My psychiatrist advised me to do the same. I try to remember too that, even if we have a diagnosis, it doesn't stop us from being the same full person we were before it. People are always much more than any label they have.

I can relate to having meltdowns but my big ones were before I was given really suitable medication for my condition. It sounds like your partner listened in a good way to what you had to say and responded honestly and kindly. The fact that you are keeping a mood diary off your own bat (and are seeking some support from this site) says to me that you are also being proactive about helping yourself. Wishing you the best on the next step in the journey.