Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I would like to start a new discussion about DISOCIATIVE DISORDERS inc Disociative Identity Disorder (DID), to not feel so alone (by hearing the 'lived experiences' of others, coping strategies, & where to find specialised help.

[Former-Member]

Because of the memory gaps, forgetfulness, getting lost in familiar places & finding things I don't remember... And the DR & psychologist telling me its a result of childhood trauma (depression, anxiety, C-PTSD - disociative episodes), i decided its time to perhaps accept this diagnosis I was given on my 20's, that's getting in the way of me moving fwd with focus, disci

[Former-Member]

focus , discipline etc

This is an online definition of DID:

DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS

DEFINITION
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Someone with a dissociative disorder escapes reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy. The person with a dissociative disorder experiences a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity.

The symptoms of dissociative disorders — ranging from amnesia to alternate identities — depend in part on the type you have. Symptoms usually develop as a reaction to trauma and help keep difficult memories at bay. Times of stress can temporarily worsen symptoms, making them more obvious. Dissociative disorders cause problems with functioning in everyday life.

Treatment for dissociative disorders may include talk therapy (psychotherapy) and medication. Although treating dissociative disorders can be difficult, many people learn new ways of coping.

2016 Mayo Foundation

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member

Interesting post, great that you have started this.

I remember last year while in a session with my DBT therapist, we were talking about my childhood abuse and I was hysterical, emotional, and then all of a sudden i was in the room but not really.  I vaguely remember she asked me if i was okay and where was I; i couldn't answer, i was just staring into space; she ended up making me lay down on the couch and watched me for a while.

I don't know if this was dissociation - i have looked it up and i think it may be but not sure.

It was a weird feeling, it was like I was somewhere else (but not daydreaming).  This has happened twice.

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member if we are talking about Dissociation Disorder ... then it has gone on too long and down the pathology path ... not with blame ... but just that triggers have accumulated.

In the "Sleeping Too Much" thread was just trying to narrow it down to the individual experiences of dissociation ... kind of like @BlueBay just posted ... before it might actually become a disorder.

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay, sounds Luke you had some sort of dissociative episode, where the brain shuts down or takes you to another place so as not to face something traumatic. A kind of going onto shock temporarily - I call it 'phasing'. Fits to me but guess therapists have trouble knowing with certainty that it wasn't something else - like low blood sugar etc.

Sadgirl, given your recent hospital admission & changes in treatment etc, I'm concerned that you stay ontrack with your progres, and as a forum friend, i'd prefer to know that you run any of this stuff past your Mental Health worker, or simply don't go there if it upsets you. Do you know what i mean? One step (stage) at a time.

[Former-Member]

There's a movie I put on tonight where a man turning 40yo comes to terms with a trauma from his childhood which he had blocked out & was resurfacing in the form of apparent delusion. Very touching, humorous, deep 'feel good' movie called "THE KID" with Bruce Willis
The trauma in this case was associated with taking the blame, as a young boy, for the death of his mum. He really comes to terms with this separated part of himself & reintegrated it, becoming a better, more at peace, easier to be with person. I highly recommend watching this movie. I believe everyone has some trauma in their childhood that our adult higher selves can, at the right time (not forced), revisit and comfort & restore that part of our inner child once & for all.

"Children are great observers
but terrible interpreters"
~ James Dobson

[Former-Member]

Hi @Appleblossom, you said
"TAWNEY if we are talking about Dissociation Disorder ... then it has gone on too long and down the pathology path ... not with blame ... but just that triggers have accumulated"

I was wondering if you could expand what you mean please, just havingvtrouble putting g it in context.

[Former-Member]

Mayo Clinic says there are varying degrees of Dissociative symptoms depending on which type of disorder exists:

THE SYMPTOMS of dissociative disorders range from amnesia to alternate identities, and depend, in part, on the type of disorder present. Symptoms usually develop as a reaction to trauma to help keep difficult memories at bay. Times of stress can temporarily worsen symptoms, making them more obvious. Dissociative disorders cause problems with functioning in everyday life (especially with relationships). TREATMENT for dissociative disorders may include talk therapy (psychotherapy) and medication. Although treating dissociative disorders can be difficult, many people learn new ways of coping and lead healthy, productive lives.

SYMPTOMS that a dissociative disorder may exist are:
- Memory loss (amnesia) of certain time periods, events and people
- Mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and attempts
- A sense of being detached from yourself
- A perception of the people and things around you as distorted and unreal
- A blurred sense of identity
- Significant stress or problems in your relationships, work or other important areas of your life.

There are three types of major dissociative disorders defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published by the American Psychiatric Association:
- Dissociative Amnesia
- Dissociative Identity Disorder
- Depersonalization Disorder

[Appleblossom]

WHen the person cant deal with the stress load ... and dissociates ... or moves away from the "FELT EXPERIENCE" fight and flight response ... and flips out into another mode .. or phase ...it is the best for dealing with the stressor that is available at that given point in time.

So in jungle ... the tiger was too much .. but the integrated learning that the tiger is dangerous becomes the wisdom ... that we become very careful or even avoid tigers all together.  That is healthy response to trigger.

If those things keep happening ... because triggering event or person is in close proximity and we cant fight ... cos they are bigger and have all the power and resources ... or leave ... where do we go ???

Then we have to maintain a presence constantly in the face of danger ... and develop all sorts of weird PSYCHOLOGICAL compensations, displacements, and condensations to cope.

Hey I am not a total Freudian by any means .. but he did develop some language and describe some aspects of the psyche that still hold water.

The parts that are not given love in the child at crucial times may become repressed .. or acted out ... or

For me I had my COPER ... tough as in any circumstances ... HEY if granpa and mum could stand up to Germans in WWII I could do so in the world I lived in ... but there was all hurting bits in me .... massive amount of neglect, denial and a little abuse ... though not much direct abuse in childhood from my actual parents when I was  CHILD..  it was MAINLY neglect & ignorance.

Anyway I had all sorts of selves ... BECAUSE ALWAYS PUT DOWN OR SIDELINED OR CAST OUT.

@Faith-and-Hope post about sub personlities is very relevant. But couldnt see the pic ... but get the general drift.

Personas and schema therapy relevant ... you posted on der Kolk a while back ...

To be able to connect the mental cerebral cognitive parts of me to the emotional feeling parts of me has been a huge and not properly completed task .. but i am getting there.