Battles

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

I've experienced it in my own healthcare.  I get very limited time when I see my oncologist.  Obviously I'm there for serious stuff.  But it's alwaysan hour or 2 late by the time I see him... If I even see him.  Sometimes I just get the intern.  But I've been in appointments where I'm stressed and worried and have a lot of questions for such a short amount of time I get with him.  But one of those appointments he was getting a couple of calls from patients who were told he would get back to them, but it had been half an hour so they're ringing to find out why he hadn't gotten back to them yet.  Well, yeah..  he's busy dealing with me and now you've halved my time I get. 

Yes I can sit there and ask all my questions and take up a bunch of time, but then everyone after me is having their time eaten away.  So I just smile, thank him for his time and leave.  It's just who I am, and I hate making a fuss or feel like I'm being pushy.  Even in a situation like this.

I've had people tell me that I should sit there until all my questions are answered.  But like going up to a stranger and starting a conversation with them... It's just not me.  And I'm not wasting anymore of the time I have left trying to explain myself to people who will never understand why these things are difficult for me.  Id rather literally bang my head against a wall.  At least I can rely on the wall to do what I need it to do... be a wall!

Thanks for the virtual hugs.  They only feel very slightly awkward! 🤣. I do appreciate it though.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 that's so frustrating, like that appointment time for you is very much needed and you should be able to ask all the questions you have. I totally get the feeling of not wanting to take up too much time or be pushy, I'm the same there. I've given up trying to explain things to people especially when it comes to the way I am or my thought process, like unless people have gone through it they just don't get it. 

My brick walls are very much my friends around here, they cop my rambling and also my fists or head 😂. 

I'm the same in the not wanting to be touched, there's only a very few people that can actually physically hug me and even then sometimes I can't handle it. But I always love the virtual hugs that I get here. 

[Dreamy]

Hello @Jynx, how's your day been? 

[Jynx]

Started off good @Dreamy I got to sleep in! Then went to grab my ADHD meds from the chemist only to realise my script has run out 😫 So I'm a bit scattered today lol

How are you?

[Dreamy]

@Jynx yay for the sleep in. But nooo not the script running out, that sucks big time. Can imagine you would be feeling scattered today. Hopefully you can get another script soon? 

I'm all over the place, thoughts, urges, emotions, sensory overload. I dunno just everything feels too much today. 

[Jynx]

@Dreamy I'm seeing a new GP tomorrow, so gonna see how that goes and whether she will be able to dispense it (since it's scheduled) so hopefully won't be a frizzle frazzle for the WHOLE week ay! 

Ach that's rough hun. Been since you woke up or has it kinda come on suddenly?

[Dreamy]

@Jynx fingers crossed she can dispense it. Definitely don't wanna be frizzle frazzle for the whole week. 

Think it's kind of been there since I woke up but it's gotten worse over the last couple of hours. I'm so frustrated at places not returning my phone calls. Trying to get things sorted out but it's hard if noone rings me back. I've got in written in emails twice that this person would call me at a specific time and yet she hasn't. And the other one is like really important and yet I'm not hearing back from them. I don't have it in me to constantly make phone calls and chase things up. 

[Jynx]

@Dreamy UGH the WORST!! I would be oh so frustrated in your shoes, totally legit you're feeling poopy! I think as well, it's the buildup of all the little stuff. Like making phone calls - I swear it's like 'oh it's so easy it'll take 5 minutes'! Yeah for you maybe, but I'm not neurotypical... phone calls require emotional preparation and time to recover afterwards!! Grrrrrr

[Dreamy]

@Jynx Right! It takes ages to work up the courage to make a phone call, and thinking about what to say and then if you get message bank, don't even get me started 😂.

Gah I'm just so over everything taking so much effort. One of these places that needs to make contact is like so important for safety reasons and yet it just feels like I'm not even valued enough to be helped. 

Anyway that's my rant, moving on 😂.

[Jynx]

@Dreamy omg I know hey, I left a message for the people who are sposed to be servicing my car and I haven't heard back 3 weeks later. Like sure, "I just need to call again" but I ALREADY DID THAT SCARY THING AND THEY DIDN'T RESPOND arggghhhh! And that's just for my car, I can't even imagine the extra stress when it's something related to safety 😩

Yes indeed, ANYWAY 😅

What's on your agenda today, colour-wise? And you got some tunes floating about? What's the vibe today?