Lived Experience Forum

[SCORPION]

how do you lean to love our self anew.

I look in the mirror  and who i see not only dont know or think he even likes me.

i dont understand how they think or reason from one moment to the next jumping from unjust anger to sobing mess.

i dont see anything of me there and trust me i have looked,i dont know if i really want to find who i was but am scared of who i may have become.

can i learn to maybe just like that person on the otherside and coesist with them.

Its scay looking in a mirror and seeing a stranger looking back.

Scorpion

[Lunar]

Hi there @SCORPION,

Thank you for sharing your experience, that sounds incredibly difficult looking in the mirror and not knowing who that person is or scared of who you have become.

You said that you jump from anger to sadness in a minute and this extreme change in mood sounds incredibly exhausting, are you getting some extra support for that right now to understand where that is coming from?

I hope you are also looking after yourself with your self-care at the moment?

Kindest,

Lunar

[SCORPION]

Hi Luna
yes getting nhelp but very tiring and hard to explain to people around me as they dont know how to react so keep tomyself a lot.
Scorpion

[CherryBomb]

Hi @SCORPION,

It sounds like you've lost a sense of self, and the prospect of uncovering yourself is scary.

How do you learn to love yourself anew? Gosh, this is a big question. My thoughts on this is firstly start with self-compassion, and being kind to yourself. Treat yourself as you would a good friend. It may feel awkward, and not even geninue at first, but sometime faking it until you make can help. This might sound weird, but seriously, I think it involves learning how to catch yourself when you're being self-critical and unkind to yourself, and then challenging yourself with kindness. Overtime, it can become a more natural -even automatic - response. 

[SCORPION]

That's what I have been trying to do.
But after yesterday I feel like it's not even close to a reflection of anyone who I might want to know.
I think one more sleep and see a last sunrise and see what happens. I'm so tired and don't have it in me to bother anymore. Sad tired and have nothing to look forward to but just more of the a pointless existence.
Scorpion

[Kurra]

Hi @SCORPION

You're sounding rather down today. Is there anything you'd like to talk about. @CherryBomb or @suzanne might have some ideaz to help you through this difficult patch.
Hugzzz 💕

[SCORPION]

Hi thanks had an OK sleep not to bad today been sitting and chatting with my chook. They are great listener.
Scorpion

[SCORPION]

 The mirror is broken I smashed it.

I don't know that person who is in there or anything about them they are my enemy and just want to put them where they belong. He died an can just piss of I want people to either see me or leave me alone I don't know and can't be who was I don't think the same and just don't have the same emotions or important the emotional reaction that he had.I AM NOT THEM.

I am me like me or  go away is all I can say.

Scorpion