Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

@Dimity  That's what I admire - that you do a little every day. Despite not enjoying it.

I don't enjoy it either, and I can't seem to make myself work at it every day. I tend to have to psych up and then do a whole chunk of it at once. 

I understand about the stages. Sometimes I put something in the "donate" box, then get it out, then put it back, etc. Some items take more mental and emotional processing than others. 

I'm not looking forward to getting down and dirty with the boxes under the house this afternoon. My friend generally stays for 2 hours, and afterwards I'm exhausted. The good thing is that those boxes are years old, so hopefully I can get rid of most of the contents.

Good luck with your work on it today...

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dimity , can't wait to tell you that I sorted all the boxes under the house yesterday! There were 11. And I chucked about 80% of the stuff out! Am yet to deliver to the opp shop and list on local free sites though. 

Unfortunately the house is now messy with the 20% of stuff that I did decide to keep - still have to disinfect it all (my germophobia) and find a place for it inside now. Plus I have the stuff inside that I need to take photos of, to list on the free site. Oh well, I enjoyed the neat house for 8 days. 

Do you find that you make more progress when your helper comes? 

[Dimity]

Well done @NatureLover it sounds as though you surprised yourself. And getting through 11 boxes is indeed an achievement. Retaining 20% sounds a good ratio and you' might be able to compensate by giving away other things when you're making space.

I took a break today and did some gardening. I've overreached and may have to backtrack a little so it's not so overwhelming. I'm not sure that I make so much more progress on the days with my helper but I feel she holds me accountable. It's sort of like a ratchet mechanism - locking in the progress that I've made that week. She's supportive, and having the car has been a big help. She's often the only person I've spoken to, too. 

[NatureLover]

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@Dimity wrote:

and you' might be able to compensate by giving away other things when you're making space.

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I didn't actually think of that @Dimity . Yes, I did surprise myself by getting through all 11 boxes in the 2 hours with my friend. But then again, there were very few papers in the boxes. 

I'm glad you gave yourself a break yesterday. I find it hard to maintain what I call the ruthless frame of mind (for chucking things out). I need to psych up a lot to get to that point. 

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@Dimity wrote:

She's supportive, and having the car has been a big help.

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Am glad. 🙂

But do you mean your helper is often the only person you've spoken to that week?

[Dimity]

Yes @NatureLover my Thursday helper is usually the only person I've spoken to all week. I've looked out for local groups to join but there's little on offer and it's usually inaccessible without a car. 

I have about 20 boxes in the livingroom at the moment. But today I worked in the garden again. I had help with it over Xmas and am now trying to keep up with the weeds. This week I'd like to clear some of the boxes - 4 would be good.

[NatureLover]

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@Dimity wrote:

Yes @NatureLover my Thursday helper is usually the only person I've spoken to all week.

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I'm sorry to hear, @Dimity . I remember the same, when going to the supermarket meant I spoke a couple of sentences to the checkout person, which was meaningful. 

Sorry to hear also that there are no accessible local groups around you 😞

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@Dimity wrote:

I have about 20 boxes in the livingroom at the moment. But today I worked in the garden again. I had help with it over Xmas and am now trying to keep up with the weeds. This week I'd like to clear some of the boxes - 4 would be good.

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Do you pick and choose which boxes to tackle, or just take the first one to hand? I pick and choose, usually what I think might be the easiest first, to start me off. 

Good luck with your 4 boxes...I'm cheering you on 🙂

[Dimity]

Thanks for your support @NatureLover . I guess I've been tackling boxes once I have some idea of what I'm going to do with them. Even while going through boxes there are some things I'm setting aside to come back to. It's trawling through memories, many of them unhappy, but I feel I need to process them. I haven't yet envisaged the outcomes but trust that something hopeful will emerge. 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dimity 

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@Dimity wrote:

It's trawling through memories, many of them unhappy, but I feel I need to process them.

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Yes, I understand. And the processing is draining. 

I hope something hopeful will emerge when you tackle them. 

[Dimity]

@NatureLover I read you'd had a bad day. I hope today was better.

I've just taken 3 boxes to the opshop. But I repacked 2 others to deal with later. So not a lot of progress. I've started on old files instead. 

Are you expecting your friend again tomorrow? She might be able to help you finish dealing with all the boxes you sorted last week.

[NatureLover]

@Dimity  I think taking 3 boxes to the opp shop is good progress!

And also, working on old files is too. 👍

I think that leaving some stuff to deal with later is fine, as that means that eventually you will be left with just those things, when it will be hopefully easier to deal with them as that's all you have to work through. 

Thanks for your kind message, and also for remembering my friend comes on Fridays. She actually can't come today, which suits me as I still haven't processed the detritus left over after last Friday. I had two days of deprerssion, but yesterday was better - thanks. 

Hoping you have a productive day today...