Hi @Stout 

Welocme to the Forums, how does today find you.  Life can be tough mate, just wondering if you have a support network around you and that you are in a safe place.  Have you had a chance to speak with anyone as regards what you are going through.  I know from personal experience that finally being able to talk to some one was such a load off my shoulders.  I know the trauma will always be there, but to be able to share the load does help.  Take care mate.......Asgard