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  • Author : Rory180
  • Support : 3
  • Topic : Talking through trauma and PTSD
06 Jul 2024 02:56 PM
New Contributor

I honestly really struggle with this. Everyone always says be hopeful and you’ll get through it but some days hit me so hard.

 

TW: Past Trauma/SH/SI

Content/trigger warning
I was so young. And it happened for years. From my brother. I think I struggle the most with and never admit is sometimes I think I trick myself into think I made it all up. Like I dreamed it or it’s my fault. And I have to spend hours convincing myself that it’s real yet I’m still unsure. I don’t know how I could imagine it all but memory of it is very limited. My family being on my brothers side really broke me. And the people I trusted the most and spoke to about it abandoning me really hurt. Last year I tried to take melt life [edited by moderator] on a more positive note edited by moderator] I’m very proud I stayed strong. I think sometimes I just want to take to someone who’s been through it too. Someone who can relate to me do I feel seen and my emotions feel valid. I sometimes also feel so physically repulsed by my body because of it. I just want to eject myself out of it. I’m trying to find gelo but counseling is expensive and sadly I can barely afford rent and food. Feeling guilty for feeling resentment I also felt this so much. Something about him being my brother and hsving asperger’s it makes me feel like the villain for saying something. Maybe i should’ve stayed silent. 

Anyway just wanting to share how i’m feeling currently 

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