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  • Author : avant-garde
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  • Topic : Talking through trauma and PTSD
30 Jan 2025 01:16 AM
Senior Contributor

It's more than just typical dentist anxiety you know... I used to need anti-anxiety meds just for the dentist. 

 

I was a teenager when my dad changed the toothpaste to one I didn't like and so for 2 years I stopped brushing, he had told me if I didn't like it then don't do it...

 

TW: sexual abuse

Content/trigger warning
Every toothache would coincide with instances of sexual assault from my father [edited by mod] saying it would heal and make it feel better
saying it would heal it and make it feel better.

I'd had a lot of inappropriate things in my mouth and so the dentist is a trigger in itself... it's terrifying for me... it's someone else putting something in my mouth... even swallowing is hard...

 

Then let's talk about the 2 experiences with an actual dentist...

I had an infected tooth that needed to be removed... This dentist was a nightmare... He gave me one dose of anaesthetic and started trying to pull the tooth... I was waving my hands and he said it didn't hurt and kept going... I screamed and he gave me another dose but after 15 minutes it still wasn't enough... I started screaming but he ignored me and so I started flailing my legs and kicked... the third dose did it...

 

The other one was when I was in rehab and needed another extraction... She didn't listen to me... needed my mouth wider... and so she put the blocks in to keep my mouth open and ignored the tears on my face...

 

In both of these my needs were ignored, I didn't matter, I was just a job, being told I was overreacting...

 

So going to the dentist terrifies me beyond normal dentist anxiety...

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