@Dreamy 

There must be so many thoughts swirly around that it's hard to even focus on which ones to worry about first.  It's normal to want to give up, especially when dealing with them for so long.  Unfortunately, I'm not sure giving up is something you know how to do.  When you keep going for others, or yourself, you do find ways to keep going when so many of us would just throw up their arms.  I'm not even sure if this is a compliment to you, more a reflection of how much sh1t you've had to deal with for so long.  I think this is why if you were ever free of this enough to have more time and energy to helping more people, you would do an amazing amount of good.  For the sake of all those people, and yourself or course, I hope you get that chance eventually.