@Jynx it's really not going to happen, not ever. Tomorrow is going to be absolute hell and I'm not sure i even want to face it. I'm sick of being put in these situations, it's not fair. 

At the moment I'm very overwhelmed and right on the edge of having a panic attack. I have to go out and won't get back until almost 10pm and I just don't want to. I don't have it in me to be around people right now. You are helping by chatting to me, it's keeping me somewhat grounded for now.