Life can definitely feel like crap sometimes @Dreamy 

But things can turn around, sometimes it’s very slow and sometimes there’s ebbs and flows. It sounds like you’ve probably been through a few ebbs and flows. Sometimes it can feel like the only path is to give up, but there are other paths. I’ve taken a few paths including the giving up path. Clearly that didn’t work, but since those days I’ve had many positive experiences and many things have changed, it’s not always easy, but it can get better.