Hi @Josie72 

Your experiences also really resonate with me. Thank you for sharing, I do tend to run from everything when I get the slightest feeling of negativity. I abused drugs for a long time before meeting my partner as a way of running from myself. Now that I am sober, I have to face these emotions and it is incredibly hard. I am still trying to determine what is real and what is BPD.  The fact that I have been in and out of therapy most of my life means I am extremely self-aware in the sense of, this happened to me so that is why I feel/act this way, I have also completed a course in Mental Health so I have all this knowledge of what to do but its like putting them into action and focusing on myself is so exhausting.