Hi @tyme 

Well the 20th was my birthday and it was not a good day for me. Especially since it was my first birthday without my dad who past away on Christmas Day last year.

Usually most of July is not good for me.

In 2018, 2 days before my birthday my ex wrote my car off, and held me against my will all through the night and into the next day. Because of previous DV and needing time off work,  I had been told that if I had any more time off, they will be replacing me. And then the boss went on to tell me, that I need to smile more around the office, as it was bad for office morale. Anyway a day later there was another incident with the ex, which resulted in me having to go to the police station to report being held against my will and what took place during that time. I didn't arrive home until 3am the next morning. I then woke up to a forensic police officer knocking on my door, wanting to take pictures of my injuries.  I knew that I couldn't go to work that day, so I rang up an quit.

Eventually this lead to me having to declare bankruptcy, having my dream car repossessed, being evicted from the rental property I was living in and my daughter had to go to live with her father. So for me July reminds me of all of this trauma and everything that I lost.

I discussed it with my social worker on Thursday, and she said that I need to distract myself and do things that I enjoy to make new memories. 

But even if I am not thinking about what the date is, my body knows and the PTSD comes flooding back. I can't seem to escape the memories.

So if you have any ideas on how to process the memories and move on, I would love to hear them.