I'm going to tell you something @EternalFlower .  Your a very complex individual and a simple mind like mind  does at times struggle to get an angle on you. . . .

But. . .  I'm also envious of you.   Now I know you will find this confusing but  your unique, unpredictable 

mind  is what some artists  would give anything to have.    Its a resource  you have that  is yet to be 

sourced.   I know I've said this many times to you,   but  my one wish for you is that you pick up a 

paint brush  or a pen and just. . .  let it all out.

I'm sorry that this is the only advice I have for today and I hope one day you will see what I have 

seen glimpses of..   Remember  " 10 old TVs  and non of them work"   I will forever wonder about the 

rest of your story..

Well my friend,  Guess what.   I picked a heap of tiny little wild cherry tomatoes out of the garden.

Put em on a oiled tray.   Lots of salt in basil.  Then reduced all the moisture out of them in the oven.

Then Flowers,  I finely chopped some hot chorizo salami and mixed the whole lot through

my penne pasta.  Bit of wilted spinach,   shaved  parmesan cheese on top.    And I thought of you while I was messing up the kitchen.   Mate you got me 

back into pasta again.    I ate my finger down to my elbows,  it was so nice.   Those wild tomatoes

so  sweet and rich. 

So ..  I'm hoping for some steam from your kitchen.   What are we cooking tomorrow my friend.

Eternal..    please be kind to yourself mate.        In my thoughts always...                   tonys..