Dear @outlander and @bella
I read through this before. But wasn't in a good place to post anything.
Just wanted you both to know I hear you.
Not being able to cry is a sign of severe stress. The mind can't cope and seeks to protect you from the pain.
To think you were asking for help and none was offered is upsetting.
ive been there too.
gentleness and love is what's required. You will recover in time.