@outlander  I am hoping to get into a support group called Living Beyond Abuse soon.  It's for people who have experienced domestic or family violence and is on at the local Women's Centre.  You might have a women's centre where you live that has supports you are eligible for, if you are up to it.  They say it will help to gain an understanding of yourself and your relationships, reduce self blame, improve your self esteem and meet other women in similar situations.  Something like this might really help you when you feel ready for it.