My psych did say we need to work on boundaries but I don’t think these are the boundaries she was thinking of. @Jynx. How can your supposedly best traits be your worst? Apparently it’s good to be kind and considerate but right now it’s like they are my worst traits. They sink me into a hole so often. 

Im watching home and away that I missed being at that hell hole. It’s a bit sad so I’ve been crying. 

It’s swallowing me up completely. What I really need right now is someone to hold me and tell me it will all be ok. Someone to tell me that I am someone not just a nothing. Not just atoms taking up space. 

Before I was walked all over last night I was just sitting and thinking how I just don’t want to be alive. I was so calm in those thoughts. So calm in that there will be no future. So calm that it all will end.